day 2 without daddy...

Another day without Daddy survived.

Lots of activity was the name of the game for Day 2.

First up was some berry picking with Jameson while big sis was at her day camp this week.

Aha!  Caught ya red-handed, Kelsey.

 My sweet baby!

 After camp, we headed over to play in the fountains downtown.

Our newest family member, James (married to our niece, Callie), joined in on the fun.  Jameson had plenty to tell him.  

 Break time.

 We see a train!

See it?

I'd say he got pretty comfortable with the fountains.

These two.  

And the best image of Day 2?

This.

living with less...

There is nothing in this world that will draw you towards minimalism like living in a house with small children.

The toys, people.  The TOYS!

And I consider myself to be fairly reserved when it comes to the amount of plastic that enters my home.

But still.

Several months ago, I was finding myself in chaos.  Not only with the toys, but just all the STUFF that had to be constantly put away and dealt with, stuff that would pile up all over and feel like it was suffocating me.

I wish I was a mom who is comfortable in the chaos.  Like the kind of mom where the house is an utter wreck, and she's still happily baking cookies in the kitchen with her kids.

That's just not me.  I just can't take it.  I know, I have problems.

For whatever reason, the more cluttered my house, the more cluttered my brain.  The more external chaos I see, the more internal chaos I feel.  I can't function at my best when stuff is screaming at me from every direction.

Ironically, though, when I walk into your house and it's a mess, it's awesome.  I feel like we can be real with each other.  Go figure.

But when you think about it, every THING we own must be maintained in one way or another.  The more THINGS we own, the bigger spaces we have, the more we are taking on the job of maintaining.

I was becoming overwhelmed with the maintaining.   One night Marc and I watched some documentary online about tiny houses.  (Have you seen those?  Fascinating stuff!  Although you never see any of them with small children...)  Of course, I'm not about to squeeze myself into an 80 square feet home, but in listening to the owners describe their life and their needs, it really got me reflecting on things like...

Do I need 20 coffee mugs in my house?  There's no way we ever USE that many in one sitting.

Do I need ten million books around our house that I know I'll never read again and are just taking up space that could function better?

Why do I think I need a gigantic pantry stocked full of cans and non-perishables?  What would it look like to free up space in my cabinets and only own what we will need until the next grocery store run?

Why DO I have 6 spatulas, or 4 sets of dishes, or 3 tablecloths that I never USE but they sit inside the cabinet just in case?  (I'm learning the words "just in case" don't line up with simplifying your life.  There's not really much we need "just in case."  Because when it becomes the case, then we can deal with it then, right?)  Why do I have so much tupperware that I'll NEVER use, or like 38 dish towels?

Why do I hold on to so much, and let it accumulate?  And bigger than that, why do I have the need/desire to continually accumulate anyways?  Why are people in poor countries statistically much happier than those in wealthy countries?  Is the stuff really making me as happy as it tries to promise it will?

What do I really WANT to do with my time, and my life- invest it in maintaining THINGS or invest it into people I love?  What value does the STUFF add to my life?  What do I absolutely need vs. what can I live without?

Moving to a smaller house afforded us the opportunity to scale down.  Maybe I should say forced us to scale down.  We lost 2 1/2 ROOMS that we had in our former house plus we lost a garage.  I'm such a suburb gal- I almost didn't know how we'd survive!

But now that we're here, and are almost settled in, it's amazing how we have more space than we actually need.

I suppose I should include a disclaimer here about minimalism, because when I use that word, all kinds of different ideas can be conjured up.  I'm just talking about intentionally living life with less, in whatever way that applies to your situation.  Some people will go crazy with that idea, and some people (like me) will just want to scale down.

But as Americans, most of us are living with a ton of excess.  It's the American way!  It's amazing what's accumulated in our garages, in our attics, in our closets, and maybe it wouldn't hurt for us to consider what value, if any, all that STUFF is adding to our lives?

So the question becomes: in what area of my life could I cut out the excess?  Where could I live more simply with LESS, in order that I might actually gain MORE?  (more space, more time, more money, more happiness...)   And how might that stuff actually be a blessing to others?

Want to see some of the results in our new place?

Might look too plain to you.  To me, it's peaceful.  And with the chaos of kids all around me, Lord knows I need some peace around here.  :)

Here's a few more pics of the house:

 The living room.

 Toys can quickly be thrown into baskets under the TV.  If baskets become too full, it's time to purge the toys and donate/sell them.

 Other side of the living room, where it opens up to the kitchen.

Dining room.  (already showed you this one, but here ya go again)  I'm loving the simplicity.

 This is where sweet Caroline wanted to start getting in the pictures.

 The kitchen.

My "mudroom" by the side door.


I'll have more pictures to show you soon, especially of how we solved the problems that arose from losing 2 1/2 rooms.












But I will say, in this process, I literally feel like I've lost weight.  The weight of all the extra STUFF I was carrying.  We have everything we need.  (And more!)

I love having less stuff to deal with.

Though we have fewer rooms and square feet, it feels like we have more open space than ever!

We have more time to spend as a family doing the things we enjoy together.

We have more money in our pockets from selling the excess things to which we were holding on.

And for me personally, I'd rather have all that
than all the extra Pyrex dishes in the world.

day 1 without daddy...

 Day 1 without Daddy.

While big sis was at Wonder Camp all day,
this guy cooked it up.

(Umm, don't you just want to gobble him up?)

But don't let the smile fool ya.

The day wasn't all roses.

Lots of opportunities to practice patience.  Opportunities to correct.  And apologize.  

But we made it to the end.  Children are blissfully asleep.

And soon we'll be ready to tackle day 2 tomorrow.

easy, cheap, beautiful wall art...

So excited to share my latest home project with you!

In the hallway leading to the living room, we have this small alcove which holds our electrical panels.

Electrical panels are not exactly what I want to be looking at from the couch, so I quickly got to thinking about options for covering them up.

We thought about putting in something like a large armoire or shelving to cover them up, but then they wouldn't be easily accessible in case of an emergency.

Then I had the idea of buying artwork large enough to cover the panels, but I couldn't find anything I was crazy about in the stores, and for artwork that size, the price tag was definitely an issue anyway.

So what does anyone do when they need an idea for a design dilemma?  Why, head to Pinterest, of course.  That's when I found this tutorial and came up with a plan for something that would be practical, yet beautiful, and meaningful to us, too.

Here's the solution I came up with...

...an easy diy canvas project that perfectly covers up the electrical panels!  Waalah!  The panels are hidden yet still accessible simply by pulling the canvas off the wall.

I wanted to paint a quote that was meaningful to both our family and our new neighborhood.  Marc and I thought this sentence from MLK's "I have a dream" speech couldn't be more fitting and perfect.

As a funny aside, Caroline wrote this out the other day:  (click on it to make it larger- it's so great!)

"When M.L.K.J. was alive, white people and black people were not together.  ML said 'I have a dream that little black boys and little white girls will be hand in hand as sisters and brothers.'  That's how me and Jameson became sister and brother."

Ha ha!  Love it!

So once I painted my 36 x 36 canvas my base color (2 coats, I chose a light khaki/cream) and picked out my quote and what font I wanted, it was time to project it onto the canvas.  We used a computer hooked up to a projector.  I propped the canvas on my kitchen counter and tilted the projector to make the words at an angle.

Using an acrylic paint marker, it was easiest for me to outline all of the wording first, and then over the course of the next few days, I worked on filling in the lettering by laying it on the floor.  (if you read the tutorial, I tried doing the metallic part that she mentioned, but it kept stopping up my paint markers, so I gave up...)

I think it turned out great!  It's exactly what I wanted.  Caroline says she REALLY likes it and she can hardly believe her eyes.

So cheap (especially using a 1/2 off coupon on the canvas).
So beautiful.  (I'm proud of myself!  I made that!)
And so meaningful to our family.

It was so easy, maybe I'll think about doing another one upstairs...

Now I absolutely love my view from the couch!

to speak or not to speak...

So here's the scene.

I'm at our local children's museum with my two kids.  We're in this exhibit where my kids are stacking magnetic pieces to one another to form cool and interesting structures.  Only 3 feet away from us is a computer and desk area that teaches kids about architecture-y stuff, and there's a family with their backs turned toward us at that computer.

One of the boys turns around.  I'd guess he's 5 or 6.  He spots Caroline, who thankfully has her head down engrossed in building.  I watch this kid's arm point straight out at her, his jaw drop, and his other hand cover his mouth.  He's obviously in disbelief at what he's seeing.  It's rude to do, especially from 2 feet away, but okay, I get it.  Mama Bear is alert.

Then little boy hastily turns to his brother, still at the computer, and frantically begins poking him on the back as if to say Hurry!  Check out this freak show!  Caroline still doesn't look up, thank God.  Now both boys turn around, and boy #1 AGAIN stretches his arm out pointing.  They are obviously more fascinated and grossed out by my bald daughter than by any exhibit in the entire museum.  And of course, their mother turns around just in the nick of time to see... nothing.  Oblivious to the entire thing.

I'm watching it, as if in slow motion.  Mama Bear suddenly feels the need to attack.  Normally I let reactions slide.  Normally I don't confront.  I know what it's like as a parent to have your kid react poorly to someone out of curiosity, and I know kids have issues.

But this one had obviously crossed the give-the-kid-the-benefit-of-the-doubt line.  This kid did not have any perceivable issues to justify his reaction.  My death stare wasn't working, either.

I've got to say something to his mom.  But what??  "Um, excuse me, but your kid is being a JERK!?" which is all that honestly was coming to my mind in the heat of the moment.  I could feel my intensity level rising as I wrestled with what to do or say.  All I could do was keep staring that kid down.  Can you say STINK. EYE.

And in a flash, they were gone.  Off to the next exhibit, as if nothing had happened.  Caroline looked up at me.  "Mom, look at the house I just built!"

And there I was.  Burned up in a pile of anger.

But really it's sorrow.  At times I hate this for my daughter.

As a mom of an alopecia kid, discerning how to handle moments like those is hard!   Though it's what I feel like doing, lashing out in anger or snapping at some random kid or mother isn't an option.  (Well, I guess it is.... but not a good or mature one, I should say.)  After all, anger and rudeness don't change hearts.  Only love does that.

It's hard to take the "high road" and absorb the injustice of the moment, too!  To keep my mouth shut as I usually do.  Yet I have a Savior who absorbed a whole lot more injustice upon himself than that for my behalf.  And if he could keep his mouth shut during that, I should certainly be able to hold my tongue at some kid's rudeness, too.

On the other end, it's also hard to lovingly call out random strangers and attempt the "teachable moment" approach.  That takes guts.  And nerves of steel.  Yet Jesus wasn't afraid to call out those who needed calling out.  There is most certainly a time for speaking the truth, but of course, always in love.  Perhaps it would have been loving of me in that moment to speak to that kid's mom.  Maybe caring for that kid in the moment would have been showing him the dignity due to all of humanity.

I guess there's more than one "right" way I could've handled it.  The more I think about the situation yesterday, the more I wish I had spoken up this time, both to my daughter's defense (though she didn't even know she needed defending) and for the edification of that kid and family.  Caroline needs to occasionally see me model loving confrontation- she herself will likely need that as a life-long skill.

I wish I would've walked up to the mother, wanting the best for her son and his maturity, and politely said, "Excuse me, but I think you might need to have a talk with your son and how he reacts to children who look different from him."

Tough.  Would've been embarrassing, right?  For both of us moms, no doubt.  I'm cringing right now at the thought.  Even if I had said it with all the love in the world, who knows how it would have been received?!

But I have to remember it's through tough, embarrassing moments that we all grow.  Those moments, as awkward as they are and as much as we want to run from them, provide us with insights and family conversations that would otherwise be missed.  It's through those helpful moments, not in spite of, that we (and our kids) move forward in maturity and compassion for others, instead of remaining in the places we are now.

And the growth isn't just for them.  It's completely challenging and sanctifying for me to learn how to take my anger in these moments and channel it instead into love.  To find words of strength that are also bathed in graciousness.  I know this won't be the last time.  For both of my kids.

God, would you continue to grant me the grace to know when to speak and when not to speak. 
Would you give my children the strength to bear all that will come their way.  
Would you give all of us a deeper love and compassion for those who are not like us.
Help us to see Your image reflected brightly in each person You've created
and help that to make a difference in our words and our lives this day.
Amen.

settling...

Everyone's asking if I feel "settled" into our new place.

I don't know quite how to answer that question.

Does feeling settled mean all of the boxes are unpacked?  The boxes are unpacked.  (Sure, there may be piles of mess in almost every room, but hey.  The boxes are unpacked.)

Does settled mean all our stuff has a place to go and pictures are all hung on the wall?  Well then, no.  We're definitely not settled in that sense yet.  I'm reminding myself it's a slow process.

Here's one wall with pictures hung next to the front door.

Are we settled in the sense that we're living a more normal life, able to find what we need, and back to our usual activities?  Ehhhh, we're getting there.

Caroline eating in the dining room.

Does my house feel home-y to me yet?  Mmmmm, not yet.

Is it at a point where I'm comfortable leaving it alone for awhile?  Nope.  I've still got several projects going right now.  But we're getting closer and closer every day.



Maybe the "are we settled" question is meant more in the metaphoric sense.  '

Do I feel like this is home?

It's still WAY too surreal.  I stand in the front yard and stare at the 1851 architecture.  This is mine?  I mean, obviously I live here now.  But it's another thing to get used to thinking of it as my own.


Does it feel right to turn left out of the church parking lot instead of right?

No.  That's still weird.  Feels like we should be coming from the way we always used to come.

Am I used to the bumpy, brick-paved streets and the sounds of trains?

You know, last night was the first time I heard a train and felt calmed by the sound instead of jolted.  I guess what "they" say is true- you do get used to it.

Does being settled mean we're staying in and cuddling up?  Because no, we're not.  We've moved to a paradise of recreation, culture, and activity!  We're taking it all in and exploring all that's surrounding us-- in the evenings we're biking the trails, playing at the parks, spending WAY too much on the great dining around us, enjoying the children's museum we can WALK to, shopping at the famers' market, and getting to know our new neighbors.

In a way, this kind of living feels more like we're on vacation!




So no, I don't feel settled yet.  I'm sure the students coming back next month will help us get into the rhythm of a semester and a more normal life will kick in.

But am I loving it?  100% YES! 

Many locals have never even ventured to this neighborhood.  They don't know what they're missing!  (By the way, there are two beautiful houses for sale on our block, by the way, if anyone's interested in joining us!)   

We are loving this place.  We love the house, and I think right now, we are loving our neighborhood even more.

It's a great fit for our family.  For so many reasons.

We may not yet feel completely settled,
but everyday it's feeling a little more and more like HOME.

when it's hard...

Lest anyone gets the idea that parenting is glamorous, can I just say motherhood is HARD?!!?!!!!

I don't have to provide all the disclaimers of how much I love my children, right?
You already know all that.

I look at their faces and I'm beyond grateful for how God brought them into our family.

But today?  (and yesterday, and the day before that...) It's been hard.  The screaming.  The talking back.  The trashing of the house behind me while I'm cleaning up something else.  The slamming doors.  The tantrums.  The disobedience.  The constant neediness and ungratefulness from both of them.


I think of Marc, who goes to work, gets PAID, sits at a desk or coffee shop.  He meets people out for lunch or coffee and has ADULT CONVERSATION.  He works very hard, and he, too, is exhausted at the end of the day.

I DON'T get paid, and my job is anything but quiet and calm.  I get kicked and insulted.  Yesterday a frisbee was accidentally thrown in my face.  I clean up disgusting poop and I attempt to keep the four of us fed, laundered, and ALIVE.  It feels like I'm under a constant pressure cooker- it's so tempting and easy to snap back and to lose it.  (And then when I do lose it, I'm plagued with guilt and so fearful of the damage I've done to our relationship.)

At the end of the day, I, too, am exhausted.  But even more than that, I feel angry and disrespected.  Like I'm doing all I can do, and it's still not enough.

You with me, mothers of little ones?

 It's times like these I lose the joy and motivation in motherhood.  It's also these times that provide a good kick-in-the-pants to figure out what kind of changes need to be made, or what kind of support I need to get through the day.

Caroline asks me in my moments of impatience "is it hard being a mom?"

Yes.  Yes it is.  But I also love being a mom, too.

So today we're making changes.  We're tightening up and adding more structure to our lives, and it's already helping.

You can pray to that end.  You can pray that I won't screw my children up SO bad that their future therapist won't know how to help them. :)


And pray that the joys of stay-at-home-motherhood would return.

slow to speak...

I'll admit, it's not easy talking about the areas in which your kid is behind.  We want to brag on our kids.  We want them to be great at everything, naturally.  It's easier to dismiss the less impressive parts of them and ignore them.  But I'm trying not to be the mom that shies away from admitting my kids' weaknesses or inabilities.  Or my OWN weaknesses and inabilities, for that matter.  We don't have it all together.  (And never will.)  I'll be the first in line to tell ya.

Thankfully God is the One who's great!, so I don't have to pretend to be.

Having a first child so extremely advanced in language from day 1 (like you saw in Caroline's hilarious post yesterday!), has made for quite the contrast with our second child, Jameson, who is now facing speech delays.

It's normal at 21 months for a child to have at least 12-15 words.

Caroline must have had 50 by this age.  That girl was reading and writing fluently at age 3.  Crazy.

Jameson, on the other hand, is falling behind what's typical.  Not just because he's a boy, but remember all those ear infections his first year?  We are now facing the effects upon his speech and having to play catch up.

It's not that he's not talking.  Oh, he's "talking."  At least, he thinks he is.  We joke and say he's speaking Creole since he's half Haitian!  It's definitely his own little language, and every now and then I *think* I can make out a phrase he's saying and it's surprising how complex it is!

It was a HUGE breakthrough over New Years when I realized that though Jameson wasn't speaking like we were, he was perfectly imitating the rhythm and intonation of what we were saying.  If I was saying "ONE, TWOOOOO, THREE!!," he was saying, "DAH, GAAAAAAAAH, GAH!!"

That has since continued.  "Who's hungry?" I'll ask.  "DAH!" Jameson will say raising his hand in the air, meaning to say the word "me!"

He knows what we're saying.  He follows directions.  He hears me, and he understands.

The language is there.  But the speech is not.

Right now he's only got "MAMA," "DADA," "uh huh," and "uh oh" as his clear words.

When I've shared my concerns about Jameson's speech, often I'll hear:  "He's a boy- naturally, they're slower at getting language."  "You're just so used to having Caroline that you don't know what normal is."  "So-and-so's kid didn't talk until they were 3."  "He'll get it, just give him time."

While those statements are probably all true, they just don't sit well with my gut instinct about Jameson.  And you know what they say- listen to your mama's gut.

At our last visit, our pediatrician recommended that we go ahead and have Jameson evaluated by a speech therapist.  "Let's nip it in the bud now instead of later," she said.  In one sense that seemed a little overkill for just a 21 month old, but nevertheless, I was eager to hear what they'd say.  Maybe they, too, would reassure me that "he's just a boy."  Maybe they'd know how to help me understand him, and help give Marc and I some ways to stimulate his speech.

At yesterday's evaluation, they determined Jameson's language was inside of him, but he could use some help getting the words to come out clearly.  The therapist explained that during all those months when there was fluid on Jameson's ears (whether they were infected or not), language would've sounded in his ear as though we were speaking at the bottom of a swimming pool.  It was a crucial time for language development, and because of that, he's now facing delays.

The encouraging part of the evaluation was that the therapist (who has 20 years of experience) thought Jameson is facing more of an articulation problem, and she believes he could get to 50 clear words in 3 months time!  My jaw dropped at the thought.  Why wouldn't I want to give my son all the help I can to help him catch up and communicate successfully?

They explained the therapy would be in our house, every other week, and.... at no charge. FREE.  Ummm, okay.  That's now a no brainer!

I want to know my son.  I'm excited at that possibility.  I want to know what he's thinking and what he's trying to tell me.  I want to quit the pretend "uh huh's" after he speaks while I ask question after question until I hear his "uh huh."  I want him to know he doesn't have to hit or scream to get what he wants.  I want to know how to help unlock all the words that are waiting to come out.

And I can't wait to get started.

six year old guest blogger...

We've got our first guest blogger on Crazy for Caroline, and it's Caroline herself, here to tell you about and share her own pictures of our weekend trip to Pittsburgh for our niece, Callie's, wedding.

Now there is NO telling where this blog post will be heading, so open up your imaginations and enjoy...




 this is the picture of Magic and Lovie getting ready for pittsburgh!
Magic is BEST friends with Lovie and i think they like tea Party's too! at least i didn't show a picture of the tea party, but i still think that they like tea party's! haha!

 this is the tunnel that leads you into pittsburgh and these tunnels that are in pittsburgh are LONG!   i'm glad i took the picture of this tunnel because i would never of remembered pittsburgh! are the tunnels in lynchburg long too? i'm not sure. i don't know if Magic got to see the tunnels that we went through. i'm pretty sure that i forgot Lovie, haha!

 this is the picture of when we came out of the tunnel. i know that sometimes when you have to go somewhere and you need to do through a tunnel there is traffic! boring, boring, BORING! isn't sitting in traffic boring?

this is the picture of.... can you guess?

its.... OUR HOTEL!!! our whole South Carolina family

what? HOW DID I GET A HAND IN MY PICTURE? i am SO SO SO SO mad! do you think that i am CRAZY????? "uh huh" ughhhh! you said uh huh!!!!! you are crazy!

this is a picture of pittsburgh.

isn't it SO beautiful?

the boats in the river are adorable?

if you click on the picture you might be able to see the water fountain on the left side

ooh la la! this picture is so beautiful with the train in it and you can see part of the river and  you can see the boats! if you go to the picture above this one you can see most of the river!

 this is abbyels little sister who i think is 2 years old. she kept on following me and Nora and her little sister Stella.










this is abbyel she like NEVER played with me that is so funny the worst part was when these blue, pink, orange fishy's came out (but they are not real) and they had games on them. i think there was green too.

i love you my cute, funny, adorable, teething, loving, caring boy!   this is my little brother who is 1 in a half years old his birthday is november 8th. you should love his picture my mom took all of these pictures off of my camera. 

if you want to see a picture of me

look up! see that girl with the purple dress on? and brown eyes? and a necklace? thats me! the one that posted this blog! (posting this blog!)  see ya soon!

don't you love my dad kissing my mom? AHHHHH! scary! 

and besides why did i say that? do you know the answer? you said: yes" what is it? you said: um um let me think because you're a bummer?" what? i'm a bummer? no way! that is terrible! you said: Oops! um i don't think i know the answer :)" ughhhhhhh! now nobody knows the answer! everybody in my kingdom come to me and bow. what d-o o ooo you ne-e e eeed sir? Nobody knows the answer in my kingdom the king said. Oh, no! thats horrible!  s-s sir? yes? roared the king, u-u um i don't t-t think nobody knows the answer. AHHHHHH! you are going to prison for this! i hear the siren now! run Rosetta, run! the whole kingdom made a tiny tiny tight circle around Rosetta.

this is Callie and James they are Moving to Lynchburg! 

this is Jen she was a bridesmaid in Callie's wedding and i think we were in the Reception and if you didn't know that i was a flower girl in the wedding you're a stinker! ah ha! ha! ha!









hi everyone this is Callie and James at their Reception
they are so great!

awww! so pretty of dancing! do you see that girl in the grayish dress? dancing with the guy in the white shirt? and can you see a little bit of his black pants? that is Callie and James dancing together! la la la la Oops sorry i'm singing:) haha! and that floor that they are dancing on is called a dance floor you said: what is a dance floor?" a dance floor is a floor that is easier to dance on. you said: Oh, now i get it!

this is another picture of me, "(which you already saw a picture of me!)" Mmmm i smell something yummy in your house! Mmmmmmm! it smells like Hmmmm ah ha! it smells like fudge! Hey you don't leave can i come over and have some fudge? please? you said:no" awwww!

****************

And there you have it.  Our trip to Pittsburgh, and so much more...