love the ones you're with...

It's hard to write.  It's hard to know what to say.

Ever since Papa's death a few weeks ago, we've been in a stage of grief.  Life is moving at too fast a pace for us to feel like we can keep up.  We're going about our days, functioning enough to do what needs doing, but we don't really know how to wade through the process of grief.  We don't really know how to pick up and carry on after the death of a parent.  It just feels like we should be waking up from a terrible dream any minute.

It's probably not a surprise that Easter was difficult.  I know that Easter is supposed to be cheerful, a celebration of Jesus conquering the grave!, and while the truth of the resurrection does give us hope, it doesn't take away the very present sting of death that we are currently feeling.  

Grieving or not, we don't traditionally do much for Easter around our place-- mostly because I'm a worship director and coordinating music for Easter is a pretty big day on the job-- but I'm just not a mom who's able to pull together treats and baskets and cook an elaborate meal when I'm here in a town without any family.  (Thankfully, my kids don't care, don't ask for it, and don't expect it...)    

My poor "deprived" children were fortunate enough to do an egg hunt at a gig of mine, AND I bought an egg-dying kit 2 days after Easter (50% off, woohoo!), to which they were thrilled.   Success! 

But thankfully the one thing we can do (and that's thanks to my mom, "Mamie") is to look nice at church on Easter morning!   Well, that's until the minute we're trying to leave the house for church and I'm running around the house like crazy because I can't find a single matching pair of socks for Jameson.... 

SO, he was all decked out in his bowtie and vest outfit for church.  WITH NO SOCKS. (ha!)

(And being the perfectionistic, Type "A" person that I am, I struggled with feeling like a complete failure of a mom on the way to church just because of a pair of stinkin' SOCKS. I have issues.)  

Blue was the color this Easter! 

I eventually got over myself and the dumb sock failure.

With everything sad happening in the last few weeks, we decided to skip town after church and squeeze in some quality family time.  All four of us piled into a king-sized hotel bed.  So what if we got very little sleep?  Hey, what we got were memories.

The next morning, we visited the North Carolina Zoo.

This is what Jameson couldn't WAIT to see at the zoo:

ELEPHANTS!   (His favorite animal right now)

There was just something healing about breaking the routine and visiting the zoo together.

Watching lemurs sunbathe.

Being inches away from a sleeping gorilla.

Watching the joy across their face as they rode the carousel.

It was magical to watch this chimpanzee reach out to meet Jameson's hand on the glass.

But this moment for me was hands down worth the trip!!:

We aren't promised tomorrow, so let's squeeze the marrow out of all the moments today.

hands of love: christmas gifts...

Normally you'd be expecting some yummy recipes from a "Hands of Love" post.  I began "Hands of Love" posts five years ago when Caroline was losing her hair and we were trying to see if it could be helped through nutritional therapy.  At the time I had NO idea how to cook gluten, dairy, & soy free meals, and it truly became a full-time job for my "hands of love" to put food on the table.  

This "Hands of Love" doesn't have any recipes.  Instead, it has Christmas gifts I made this year with my "hands of love"!  (Thanks to a bazillion free tutorials on Pinterest and the excellent idea from my neighbor.)

 It was the year for burlap wreaths!

I was surprised how easy they were to make once I figured it out, and what's great about these wreaths is that the accessories on them can be changed out with the seasons so it can be a year-round gift.

 I even made them for our teachers' gifts.

 I think they turned out really cute!  I want to make one for myself now.

Family members got more personalized wreaths- like using initials and colors/things they love like peacock feathers...

 ...or even camouflage!  he he

I think my favorite was the one I made for my mother-in-law, who is a lover of all things deep red.  I ordered the red burlap online and it turned out gorgeous.

The burlap wreaths were a hit!  

Such a fun project for these "hands of love."

dreams come true...

In some ways it feels like he can't be 3 years old already.  (Where's my baby boy??)

In other ways, my life is so vastly different now that it hardly seems possible Jameson's only been in the world three years!

But it's true.

My sweet guy turned 3 this weekend.

And all his dreams came true for his birthday:

1.  He wanted an "excavator cake."  (thank you, Nanny, for making that happen!)

2.  And he wanted an excavator.  (thank you, Mamie!)

It was a whirlwind of a trip down to South Carolina and back in 24 hours, but Jameson wouldn't have wanted to celebrate any other way than with his cousins at Nanny's house. 

make a wish!

And celebrate we DID.

Happy birthday to you,
happy birthday to you,
happy birthday, dear Jameson,
happy birthday to you!

When it came time for cake, cousin Elijah had a better way to eat it.

Ha ha ha ha!

 Caroline sewed this sweet tool belt for Jameson by herself.

(She's been taking sewing lessons with a dear older woman in our church each week.  Great job, CC!)

 And what three year old boy wouldn't love swords and more swords... diggers and more diggers...

 But here was the only thing he wanted in the world:

an excavator he could actually work.

So Mamie got him a remote-controlled excavator, and all his dreams came true.  

I had the idea to dump some dry rice in a tupperware container so he could actually do some scooping.

HEAVEN. ON. EARTH. for Jameson.


(I'll pat myself on the back for that fleeting moment of motherhood brillance...ha!)

 Marc's father, "Papa," is sadly suffering with blindness and dementia.  Mr. Randy has blessed our family with his faithful and tender care of Papa now for a few years.  

Each time we visit, Jameson wants to jump in to help Papa in different ways.  My sweet boy.

Jameson, little did we know you'd be a part of our family.

But now we can't even fathom it without you.

We loved watching your birthday dreams come true this weekend.

But YOU, my son, are surely the dream come true.

super hero halloween.

It's one of our favorite holidays of the year.

And this year, it was a super hero Halloween.

And boy, did they get into character!

It was the first year that Jameson truly understood trick-or-treating, and it was MAGICAL.  After he visited each house, he would come up to me and say, "I say 'thank you'!  Mommy, can we go to anudder house?"  After I said yes, he'd take off RUNNING, his cape flying behind him.

You know, I will praise my neighborhood every other day of the year, but on Halloween night, it is pretty pathetic.  We see Halloween as one of the best nights of the year for a neighborhood!  It's like a huge neighborhood block party of sorts-- an opportunity to visit with neighbors!  A chance to be Christian and love your (literal) neighbor!

But I think I counted 4 porch lights on TOTAL?!  Maybe that's partially a result of living in a neighborhood with poverty?  No one turns their light on anymore because they know kids don't trick-or-treat here.  Sure, we've got kids here, but my neighbor who's lived on the street for 40 years told me they all go up to the wealthy neighborhoods where there's an abundance of candy.  Honestly, looking at dark house after dark house, I can't blame them!

Some neighbors left the 'hood to attend church events.  Some were attending other functions in town.  

But the few houses that had their lights on?  We thanked them.  My kids were so happy for them.  One house waited for us to come before turning their light off.  They remembered us from last year and knew we'd be back.  Hopefully we're setting some kind of precedent?  We have hopes that it can improve each year...

But since we anticipated our neighborhood's Halloween anemia, we drove across town to our former neighborhood to continue a tradition of trick-or-treating with Caroline's friend, Leah!

Speaking of tradition... look at these girls each Halloween past...

Caroline & Leah, age 1

Caroline & Leah, age 2

Caroline & Leah, age 3

Caroline & Leah, age 4

Caroline & Leah, age 5

Caroline & Leah, age 6

Caroline & Leah, age 7

It's so crazy how big these girls now are.  How fast time flies. 

Somehow I thought they'd be little and giggly forever.

Happy super hero Halloween!

i would drive 500 miles...

You know, driving cross country from Texas to Virginia with young children isn't my favorite thing in the world to do.  

But we had the time, and it provided us the ability to stop and see people who are extremely meaningful to us along the way!  

Like Molly.

Molly, an alopecia buddy, has actually been in our life for several years though this was only our second time meeting her in person! (Here was our first meeting & more about Molly.) Seeing Molly again was a huge motivator to drive through Memphis, and our visit with her definitely made all the long hours worth it.  So glad this lady is in our life.  Caroline absolutely ADORES her!  (so do we!)

And we got to make a quick stop in Nashville for lunch with Alyssa!  Alyssa was a student in our RUF ministry at Texas Tech (before we began the RUF here in Lynchburg) and she is super special to our family.  I love relationships where distance doesn't mean a thing because when you see one another, you pick right up and keep going where you left off.  What's so cool to me is that she's actually living with HER RUF intern (Della) & their family.  It's beautiful how these relationships in a transitional time like college ministry still last lifetimes.

We were also thrilled to stay the night with our friends, the Browns, in Knoxville that night.  (I regret I didn't get a picture- oh well!)  It had been years since seeing them, and it was great catching up.  I'll never forget the visit there, especially because at 3am in their basement, that's where my vertigo attack began in full force, so Marc helped my nauseated self hobble to the bathroom without losing my balance.  (boo.)

Anyways, a day or two after settling back in at home, we FINALLY had a little Christmas of our own!

Caroline and Jameson both loved the marble run.  Caroline likes building and designing the runs, and Jameson loves to drop the marbles in and watch them go.

 And any sports lover would go crazy at a basketball goal, right?

Right.

You probably see that bed set up in the living room?  

That's because Caroline got a new bed (a full size mattress for free from our neighbors- thank you!) and beautiful bedding to go on it!  

So then Jameson got Caroline's old twin-sized bed instead of his little toddler bed, and we're hoping that it will inspire him to stay IN the bed throughout the night... so far, it was a nice thought...

 Caroline Abbott, Caroline's new doll, wanted to show you SHE also got a new set of bunk beds as well.

PLUS there's a closet on the end of them to hold all of Caroline Abbott's outfits and accessories.

BOTH Carolines were super excited.

Minus the vertigo, it was a great trip and a great Christmas.  Our cups are full from the quick visits we were able to have on the long trek back to Virginia.  

the cookies are in the oven...

She wanted to dress up like pilgrims

Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

Hope you all enjoyed lots of food, fun, and family.  I can honestly say it was the most miserable Thanksgiving I have yet experienced.  I certainly spent no part of the day giving thanks.

It was depressing enough that we weren't going to be with family this year.  When my family wasn't going to have its annual get-together, Marc and I (along with another couple from church) decided to host students left in town.

However, the night before Thanksgiving, I woke up at 3am puking violently... along with other stuff.  It was MIS-ER-A-BLE.  And it didn't seem it would ever stop.

Yuck.  But what would that mean for our guests who were scheduled to come eat turkey later that day?  It meant poor Marc would somehow miraculously pull off all the cooking left AS I LAY IN BED UPSTAIRS TEXTING HIM INSTRUCTIONS.  (Ha ha! And he did it!  Way to go, Marc!)

Oh, but the smells of turkey and stuffing might just forever be ruined for me now...

It was quite painful for this extrovert to hear the laughter downstairs as I lay flat on my back in bed.  Thankfully, I'm finally feeling better today (Saturday), but now Marc is camped out on the couch with the puke bucket ready-to-go at a moment's notice.  Jameson seems to be battling yet another ear infection, and sometimes it feels as though this cycle of toil will never end.

Yes, I can honestly say this Thanksgiving STUNK.  I had no food, no family, and no fun.  As I lay there mindlessly scrolling my facebook newsfeed, seeing all the sweet pictures of families reunited only served to further remind me of my own isolation.

Tomorrow we're entering into the season of Advent.  (It's the time leading up to Christmas where many Christians focus on the anticipation of a Savior, similar to how the people of the Old Testament looked forward in faith to the birth of Christ.)

Advent is the time where we, with hope, remember that we, too, are waiting for something better.  Though our lives are filled with lots of yuck now, there will be a more glorious day ahead.

Advent is watching the warm cookies bake in the oven.

Our hearts are hungry.  They yearn to be filled.

All signs show good things ahead.

We see it with our eyes.

We kneel at the oven door and feel its heat.

We can just imagine the taste upon our lips.

They're coming!  The cookies are coming!  

The anticipation builds with excitement.  

I, in my Thanksgiving woe and misery, especially need this season of Advent.

Though things are hard now, and really hard now, 

a yet more glorious day lies ahead.

Just as the cookies are in the oven, He is coming soon.

All of creation kneels down in anticipation.

So I'll wait for Him with patience.

turn the lights on...

Happy Halloween, everybody!

As many of you know, Halloween is one of our favorite days of the year (see this article why it's called the Christian's "second most important holiday") and we are ALL about celebrating it in the neighborhood!  (I love this video from Desiring God Ministries: When Halloween Demands a Gospel Explanation)

It's an amazing holiday, indeed.

This year we had Elsa, the ice queen, (from Disney's hit movie, "Frozen") and a football player.  Though Jameson is a man of few words, one thing he ALWAYS clearly communicates to us when he watches a football game on tv is how badly he wants a helmet!

So today was his lucky day.

I'd say both of them were in heaven.

playing football in the front yard

Caroline and Leah have been together every Halloween of their lives thus far, and we weren't going to let a little across-town move stop the tradition, so we headed over early to do our annual trick-or-treating down our old street.

Anna and Elsa waiting for candy

 As these girls were literally RUNNING from house to house with excitement...

 ...this guy wanted to immediately enjoy his stash of candy.  (ha!)

 It was SO sweet to see Jameson figure out the if-I-hold-out-my-bucket-they-put-candy-in-there process.  Even though he was quite a bit slower than big sis, he still loved it at his own pace!

So once our trick-or-treating was over, we headed home to experience Halloween in our new neighborhood.

And boy, can you say DISAPPOINTMENT.

Maybe it's because there aren't that many little kids around here.  Maybe it's because our neighborhood is slowly on the "up."  Maybe it's because people are poor and don't have excess money to buy candy.  Maybe it's because most of those that do participate in Halloween go to more affluent neighborhoods or alternative events.

Whatever the reason, we were sad to see our new community so dead on one of the most lively and potentially "neighborly" evenings of the year.

Less than 5 porch lights were on, and you better believe, we went to every single one of them.  (one house had it's light on accidentally, ha!)  We shook hands and met the neighbors.  We were their only trick-or-treaters of the night.  Some said we were the only trick-or-treaters they've had in YEARS.

(Sigh.)

Not acceptable, people.  This place can do so much better!

So the work is cut out for us next year.  Somehow, we've got to start bringing Halloween back to this neighborhood!

 Nevertheless, I've got two kiddos who had a great evening of fun dress-up and sugar highs.

(not to mention, they got a ton of exercise in the process!)

Seeing the joy on their faces couldn't have made me any happier.

I love Halloween.