hands of love: christmas gifts...

Normally you'd be expecting some yummy recipes from a "Hands of Love" post.  I began "Hands of Love" posts five years ago when Caroline was losing her hair and we were trying to see if it could be helped through nutritional therapy.  At the time I had NO idea how to cook gluten, dairy, & soy free meals, and it truly became a full-time job for my "hands of love" to put food on the table.  

This "Hands of Love" doesn't have any recipes.  Instead, it has Christmas gifts I made this year with my "hands of love"!  (Thanks to a bazillion free tutorials on Pinterest and the excellent idea from my neighbor.)

 It was the year for burlap wreaths!

I was surprised how easy they were to make once I figured it out, and what's great about these wreaths is that the accessories on them can be changed out with the seasons so it can be a year-round gift.

 I even made them for our teachers' gifts.

 I think they turned out really cute!  I want to make one for myself now.

Family members got more personalized wreaths- like using initials and colors/things they love like peacock feathers...

 ...or even camouflage!  he he

I think my favorite was the one I made for my mother-in-law, who is a lover of all things deep red.  I ordered the red burlap online and it turned out gorgeous.

The burlap wreaths were a hit!  

Such a fun project for these "hands of love."

teaching your white children about race...

If you're like I was before adopting transracially, you honestly may not even know where to begin when it comes to teaching your white children about race.

No one around you is really talking about it or sees the need to.

You're afraid to bring it up for fear of saying something offensive or stupid.

Or what happens if your child takes something you've said and embarrasses you in public by an innocent, but potentially offensive, racial comment?

Whatever your fears or reluctancy, I'd encourage parents to begin teaching their white children about race.  (I specify white children in this blog post because I think it's fairly safe to assume parents of minority children are already naturally talking about race, while white culture tends to avoid the topic like the plague in the "virtuous" attempt to be colorblind.)

Pleeeease teach your children what race is, why we're different, and why we should CELEBRATE the fact that God designed humans in a vast array of colors.  Don't shy away from teaching them our country's shameful history with race, and how they can grow up breaking the generational sins of racism for our future.

Do it for the benefit of your child's world view.
 For the benefit of their future relationships.
For the benefit of our cities and our country and our world.

Here are just a few practical ways to start.

 1.  Children's books.   The library is an educational gold mine for parents in so many ways.  But try looking at children's books through the eyes of my son, and you'll quickly see how overwhelmingly white our world is.  

Look for children's books where the main character isn't always white.  (I'll warn you, it's unfortunately a challenge.)  Look for stories set in the context of other cultures that might provide a good springboard for discussion.

Check out or purchase children's books about important non-white historical figures on your child's reading level.  We currently own children's books about Martin Luther King, Jr, Jackie Robinson, and the story of Ruby Bridges, and I'm always excited to get my hands on more.  These stories (even written on the level for Jameson!) don't sugar coat our nation's history, and I'm telling you, it was initially really hard to read the words "Black children were not allowed on the playground with white children" aloud to my children.  (Ugh.  Can't we just skip over that part?)  But it's important that our kids know where we've been in order to understand the world in which they live and continue the long-term process of reconciliation in America's dysfunctional race relations.  

I found this artwork the other day when Caroline had traced her and Jameson's hands.  I love that she connects how history (particularly the efforts in the civil rights movement with Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr) has enabled our family to exist!

2.  Toys.  Buy your younger children dolls and toys of other ethnicities.  Our kids take their cues in beauty and value from us.  As parents, we have a unique opportunity to help shape our children's worldview by being a little more intentional about what we place in front of them.  Brown-skinned dolls are not just for brown-skinned girls.  In our house, we love Disney's Doc McStuffins, because it's a rare treat to find a tv show where the beloved main character is African American.

3.  Conversations.  As a family, we have an open, ongoing dialogue about race just as we do about subjects like adoption, family, God, healthy foods, alopecia, etc.  In other words, the topic of race isn't a "once and done" discussion. (obviously, for our family it can't be!)  Ask your kids open-ended questions and listen to their thoughts and ideas when it comes to race and differences.   

4.  Relationships.  I can't stress this one enough.  The best way to "teach" your white children about race is to encourage them to enter into relationships with children of other races and have them see YOU doing the same.  We didn't move to our current neighborhood just so that Jameson could be around kids that look like him.  That's certainly a huge benefit.  But we realize it's just as important for us and for Caroline to be in a diverse community, too.   

Sadly, statistics overwhelmingly show that whites prefer a white world, both in their neighborhood, school choices, facebook newsfeeds, etc.  I'd argue this racial isolation is truly a loss for whites, because while exposing oneself to other cultures and ethnicities might at first be uncomfortable, it's unbelievably rewarding and challenging (in a good way!) to one's personal growth.  

I can't talk enough about how my own cross-cultural relationships have changed me.  We all need friendships where we can ask honest questions without the fear of judgment.  When we enter into relationships with people who appear to be different, we have a unique opportunity to see how very alike we all really are (because we're all made in God's image) and learn from His diverse children who carry beautiful perspectives that we white folks need to hear. 

So go ahead.  See color.  Teach your kids to do the same.  And marvel together at what an amazing display of color and culture God has made in humanity.

stradivarius...

Christmas came a little early around here the other day...

Before Jameson entered our family, Caroline and I had started piano lessons together.  (there's a GREAT music series for  teaching piano to preschoolers that my mom found and sent us!)  We had made it into book 3 when we got "the call" and our lives turned upside down with a new baby!  It probably goes without saying that, at that point, we dropped our daily piano time together as Mommy now had her hands plenty full.

Six months ago, though, Caroline began asking for violin lessons.  "I want to play up on stage at church with you, Mom," she'd tell me.

I told her she needed to finish Book 4 of our piano lessons before I'd let her switch to violin.  (Just a little two cents from a music teacher here-- piano is by far the BEST foundational instrument to start your child on musically.  All the concepts learned on piano will then transfer to any instrument of your choosing after that.)

That was all the motivation she needed.

Around the time school began this Fall, we began "lessons" again.

Now, that may sound all glorious and heart-warming, but reality was often much, much different... many lessons ended in drama and screaming, especially if there was something challenging that she couldn't master on the first attempt.  (umm, hello?  Welcome to life, baby.)

But we persevered.  And last week, she was thrilled to reach the end of her Book 4.

"Mom, can I get a violin today?"
"Mom, when can I get my violin?"
"Mom, I want to learn violin SO bad."
"Mom, can we get the violin right now?"

Relentless.  She was filled with SO much anticipation.

Initially, I was thinking the big reveal would be Christmas morning.


But she wasn't the only one who couldn't wait any longer!  I was giddy signing up to rent a violin.  She's going to LOVE it!


And this was the moment she realized what was under the tree.  :)


Open up the case and try it OUT!  (she's not been allowed to touch mine at all.  I know, I'm mean.)


Like mommy, like daughter!  Now there's two violin gals in the family.

I don't know which one of us were happier.


It was time to start teaching my eager learner...






We spent hours together that day.  It was truly a BLAST.

"Mommy, I'm going to listen to everything you tell me to do."

Yeah.  We'll see about that.  :)


But for a day, at least, she did.


And since then, it's been get-it-out, put-it-away, get-it-out, put-it-away.

Over and over again.

Who knows what this will be the start to.

But I'm beaming with pride.


What a joy, my sweet Caroline.  What a joy.

best $1 I ever spent...

I love how it doesn't take much to entertain preschoolers these days.

Scrounge up some tupperware & measuring cups, dump out a $1 bag of dry beans, and let 'em go to town.

Measuring...

Dumping. Pouring.

Make "bean muffins" and watch those little fingers build coordination and dexterity.

Sure to be hours of fun. :)

season change...

We are back home in Virginia after our extended trip to Texas for Thanksgiving and annual RUF staff training for Marc. It's good to be home, but kinda weird because when we left it was FALL, and when we drove back home, everything is now CHRISTMAS! I still had a pumpkin on my porch, for crying out loud.

So now around our house, we are just catching up with the season.

As we got out our Christmas stuff, I was quickly reminded that one of the best Christmas gifts Caroline ever got was a Little People Nativity Set. She got it when she was a baby, as I was thinking here was at least ONE Christmas decoration where she can have full reign-- in the mouth, throw across the floor, etc.-- and I'm not worried about it breaking. (unlike the glass ornaments already shattered...)

Well, it's so neat to pull it out each year and watch her enjoy it more and MORE, especially this year as she is now beginning to comprehend the actual story of Jesus' birth. Today she RAN into the house from preschool just to keep playing with it.

It's also interesting letting your 3 1/2 yr. old help decorate the Christmas tree for the first time, too, as is evidenced by the row of assorted violin ornaments bobbing along the bottom of the tree. :)

It was a team effort putting the angel on the top of the tree, but Daddy held his breath and got it done. :)

It's NOW beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

the best things in life are free...

To combine my loooooove of singing with my loooove of reading, Mommy had an unusual stroke of brilliance one day when she decided to make a binder of songs for me!

And now... you guessed it- it's my favorite "toy."

I get out my notebook, sing the words, and then flip the page to the next one...

It's got all my favorites in here, and we keep adding more songs as Mommy teaches them to me. Today we added some new Christmas songs for me to start singing! ("Go Tell it On The Mountain" is my current fav.) I love watching Mommy write out the words and then I get to punch the holes in the paper and put it in the binder- so exciting to me!

My binder also has the rhymes we're doing in our library class.

While Mommy is doing her hair & makeup, I'm almost always curled up here in her lap with my notebook singing up a storm with her.

Need we say more?

everybody's got something pt. 4...

(continued from part 1, 2, & 3... here's the grand finale! Hope you have enjoyed our little book.)


When someone you see looks different than you, you don't have to stare at them or be afraid of them, do you? No! You can give them a big friendly smile and that tells them that it's okay to be different because that's how God made us!


Lots of other people have alopecia, too, but not lots of people that live in Lynchburg. But that's okay because everybody's got something that makes them different and special, right? God uses all of our differences to grow us and teach us.

God made us all different and He loves us so much. And because God loves us, we want to love other people, too. Just the way they are.

everybody's got something pt. 3...

(continued from part 1 & part 2...remember you can see the pages enlarged by clicking on them)


There are different kinds of alopecia. Some people have alopecia areata, which means they lose patches of hair. That's what Molly has. Molly works at a hospital helping children who are sick. She is a beautiful girl, on the inside and the outside.

You and Brittany have alopecia totalis. That's the kind of alopecia where you don't have any hair on your head, but you still have eyelashes, eyebrows, and hair on your body. People who don't have any hair on their body at all have alopecia universalis.


Annie has alopecia totalis, too! She lives in Oklahoma. Here is a picture of her before she lost all of her hair and here is a picture of her with her baby sister.

People with alopecia are not sick. They can do anything that everyone else does! They can do fun things like dance, play at the beach, ride bikes, and even catch a crab!


Even beauty queens can have alopecia! Here is Miss Delaware without a wig and with a wig. She is beautiful either way, because you don't need hair to be beautiful. If you are kind to people and smile at them, you are beautiful.

Wigs can make you look like you have hair! A nice wig is made out of real human hair, so it looks and feels just like real hair, even though it doesn't grow from your head. You have to take care of a nice wig by brushing it and washing it. Wigs come in all different sizes and colors and styles! There are wigs for children and wigs for adults. There are red wigs, brown wigs, blond wigs, and long and short wigs. A wig can be fun to wear if you want to look like you have hair, but it doesn't make you any more beautiful than you already are!

(to be continued...)

everybody's got something pt. 2...

(continued from part 1...) Thanks for the good feedback on this!! So glad you guys enjoyed the first pages of our book-- it makes it more fun to share! Here's the next few...


You were a baby with brown hair. Your hair was very short when you were first born, but it didn't take long before it grew and grew!

Here are some pictures of you with your hair before alopecia! (you guys can actually click on the pictures to see them larger)


One day, when you were almost two years old, Mommy and Daddy noticed your hairs began falling out. Some hair would fall out in the bathtub. Some hair would fall out in your crib. It didn't hurt you or bother you to lose hair. It just started slowly falling out, a little at a time.

Gradually, you lost more hair. At one point you lost all of your eyebrows and eyelashes, but they came back in about a month later.


Mommy and Daddy took you to several doctors to find out why your hair was falling out, and they told us it wasn't because you were sick. It was because you have alopecia!

Your hair kept falling out until there was no hair left on your head. When someone doesn't have any hair on their head, they are bald.

Some people are bald because they have alopecia.
Some people are bald because they are sick with cancer.
Some people are bald because their hair started falling out when they got older.

Most people don't know about alopecia. So when they see a bald person, they might think it is because they are sick with cancer or leukemia. There are lots of children who are very sick and don't have hair. But you are not sick. Your body is just allergic to your hair!

Sometimes people with alopecia get their hair back, and some people don't. We don't know if your hair will ever come back, but if it doesn't, that's okay.

Sometimes we have to tell people about alopecia because they do not understand. And most of the time we don't have to say anything to them about it.

(to be continued!...)