waiting is the hardest part...

The other day I decided to publicly share our journey and transition from old life into new life.  I shared how as a family, we generally now know what we need, but in practicality, we don't know what it's going to look like or what the path is to get there.

In some ways, it feels like I'm locked in one of those escape rooms.  You know what I'm talking about?  It's like, I know there's a way out of this old life, but it's as if there's a series of puzzles to solve or doors to unlock before we can figure out how to get through to the other side.  Nothing is "opening up" at this point.

I don't know what school either of my children will be attending next year, and that feels HUGE and overwhelming.

We've elected to take Caroline out of the private school she's attended since kindergarten in order to put her into a small, magnet public school that specializes in the performing arts, but it's an "invite" system, and I don't know when we'll find out if she'll get in.  So we wait.

I found a preschool I liked for Jameson, but of course, his classroom is already full for next year.  Thankfully the director is open to trying to work it out with us, but again, we're waiting to see if and how it can happen.

I don't know if or when we'll be selling our current house.  We're nowhere near ready to move to the River House (that feels like forever away...), but the house market will be heating up very soon, and the likelihood of us selling this house next fall or winter isn't high.  So that brings up more questions... what if we sell the house before we're able to move in to the River House?  If that's the case, where do we LIVE in the meantime?  And how can we get the River House completed sooner?

We're in the middle of a semester of ministry, so it's not like we have time to work on the house.  So we pay our contractor and wait as he works.

Our dream of a multi-ethnic church here in Lynchburg seems like a long way off.  We're doing all we can on many fronts to help find a church planter, but ultimately, there's a lot of waiting involved..

So naturally, what does anyone do when they're struggling with waiting?  I googled "how to wait" and found a silly wikipedia how-to article.  (Am I the only one who does this kind of stuff?)

But the article's suggestions actually weren't too bad.

1.  Occupy your time.
2. Don't try too hard.
3.  Wait with other people.

1.  Occupy your time.  Check.  No problem there.  Between two kids, a campus ministry, a historic house renovation, a worship directing job, a band, a racial reconciliation group, etc., I'd say there's no problem filling up my time.

2.  Don't try too hard.  Not really sure what this actually means.  Don't try too hard to wait?  Okay, sure.  I won't try too hard.   (???)

3.  Wait with other people.

THIS.

In all of our uncertainty about what's next for us, I'm finding that it's life-giving just to bring others into the wait with us.

It's why I'm typing this blog now.

I need others to make this wait not feel so unbearable.  I need others to commit to pray for our family, that God would guide us in all of this crazy uncertainty of schooling, housing, and the need for a multi-ethnic community.

So much feels up in the air right now.

Tom Petty was right.  Waiting is the hardest part.

the comeback kid...

If ever there was such a thing as a Sportscenter covering a Poetry Recital event, this story might be right up there with the best of 'em...

Here's the quick stats:
-Each Fall: Schoolwide Poetry Recital/Contest
-Every student receives a different poem appropriate for their grade level.
-Students must memorize and perform poem with costumes, props, gestures, etc.
-Judging is centered on accuracy, diction/poise/confidence, and creative interpretation.

1st Round: Class recitals
    (top 2 winners advance)
2nd Round:  Grammar School Poetry Recital
   (chance of winning 1st place in their grade and a Jefferson cup for first place in the lower grades, upper grades, and kindergarten)

So here's the background....

In kindergarten, you may remember Caroline was a finalist in her class recital, and she did an amazing job in the school's Poetry Recital.  We were SO proud of her!

But another boy won the Jefferson cup that year, and maybe you can tell from the look on her face in this picture, but I think it was in that moment she became determined to win that Jefferson cup the next year.

So the next year, now 1st GRADE!, she worked so, SO hard on perfecting her poem.  Here was her dress rehearsal at home the day before her class recital:



Great job, right?

As you'd expect, she breezed through her class recital and was again a finalist for the Grammar School Poetry Recital.  She was ready to win that coveted silver Jefferson cup afterall.

And then this happened.  The bike accident that broke her wrist.

Her surgery was the day before the Poetry Recital.  

There was just no way she could compete due to her injury.   

("What a promising season cut short," the sports commentators might say at this point in the story.)

So that brings us to this year, where Caroline was given the poem "Tea Talk."  Again, she, Marc and I worked on it for several weeks.  Here was her dress rehearsal at home the day before the class recital:

She was ready!

And here's what's funny...Jameson had seen and heard the silly poem enough that he, too, performed it for us later that night:



Hahahaha!!!!  Great job, Jameson!

Caroline and her sweet friend were so giggly the day of the class recital!

All the students did an amazing job.

On the way home from school that afternoon,

I got the call that Caroline had been selected as a finalist for the school-wide Poetry Recital!

Caroline was ecstatic she'd be able to perform this year.

So the Poetry Recital was LAST NIGHT!  Marc and I were nervous wrecks for sweet Caroline, who was SO excited to perform and she was really hoping she could win the cup this year.  (Like a good mom, I coached her plenty on the "it's okay if you don't win" talk...)

Here was her performance last night in front of the judges and entire audience:

Great job, CC!!

Way to go, Caroline!

And lo and behold, this gal won first place in her grade AND  the Jefferson Cup against all the 1st and 2nd graders.

"Mom, this was the like the best day of my life."

"Am I dreaming right now?"

Way to go, my precious girl.

You're the comeback kid!!

Even more than winning, though, I'm more proud of the way you congratulated and encouraged all the other participants, especially the little kindergarteners.

I'm more proud of the hours you practiced and the way your mind developed as a result of learning and performing this poem.

And I'm the MOST proud that in God's lovingkindness,

I get to call you mine.

We love you, Caroline!!!

school yule...

Happy 2015!  

We've traveled far and wide since our last blog post, so we've got lots of pictures to share in upcoming posts.

We'll start with pictures from the last day of school before Christmas break...

Caroline and her art teacher

Aside from it's outstanding education, one of the main reasons we picked this school for Caroline was because of Mrs. Mays, the art teacher who also has alopecia!  She's taught there for so many years (I'm putting the pressure on her to continue for many, many more... ha!) and is an amazing woman.  It's been a joy for me to serve as Caroline's classroom "art mom" and get to know her as well as observe all the funny dynamics between the first grade classmates I always hear about at home. 

The last day of school, the grammar school (K-4th grade) had a Lessons and Carols program.

 Caroline was one of four people selected to play the xylophones and accompany the first-graders' song.  

 Jameson enjoyed visiting her classroom after the program.  As you can imagine, he's quite the popular guy among her classmates now.

A few weeks ago, we brought lunch to eat with Caroline at school and the kids begged us to let Jameson stay for recess.  We agreed, and it was so funny and sweet watching this group of seven little girls hovering over him showing him every playground activity.  He sure didn't mind the attention, either.

This girl came home singing "Joy to the World," "O Come O Come Emmanuel,"

AND "O Come All Ye Faithful"

in LATIN!!!

Her teacher said she's reading around a fourth grade level (!!  Language has always been her thing!).  She's a strong leader in the class, and we're having lots of talks at home about how good leaders serve others, let others lead, etc...   

Caroline's doing so well in school and loves it to pieces.  She only has 14 in her class, and it's amazing to see how much they love and support one another.  I'd guess almost all the kids in the school know her (thank you, alopecia), and so many of the older kids often give her hugs in the hall, etc.  I'm so thankful God has provided such a great environment as this for my daughter to thrive, learn, find acceptance, and grow.  

who lived here?...

Would you believe it?  She CAN sing something besides "Let it Go"!  (thank you, first grade!)

What trip to the White House wouldn't be complete without singing the order of its residents?  (You can't tell, but by the end of the song, she had quite a group of admirers!)

everybody's got somethin'...

(Quick update from the last post: our "superman," Jameson, is feeling SO much better today now that the antibiotics are in full swing!)

happy girl

We finally got the cast!  And it's pink (of course)!

Since it'll only be two weeks before the pins come out, the doctor gave us the option of wrapping her arm back up with a splint and ace bandages.

Watching Caroline's face as the doctor presented that option, I could tell there was NO WAY we were leaving that office without a pink cast.  NO WAY.

the love of Jameson's life

 There was also NO WAY Jameson was going to leave that doctor's office without his own nurse buddy, too!   (ha ha!)

 He clung SO tightly to her leg when it was time to go- must have been love at first sight.  This sweet nurse literally CARRIED HIM OUT TO OUR CAR and buckled him in before he fell into a thousand pieces when she said goodbye.

sweet friends

 Caroline's loving her pink cast!  And she's handling the challenge of living one-handed like a champ.  I'm so incredibly proud of her.  (I'd be whining up a STORM.)

Seriously, not one complaint.

I can't help but wonder if it's because her sweet friend at school lives without a hand, but still amazes everyone with all that she's able to do!

enjoying the hay ride on the class field trip

 In fact, coming home from the ER the night of the accident, Caroline insightfully said, "Now I'm going to be more like M!"

I couldn't be more grateful for my daughter to have a friend like M.  They came into kindergarten together, and they've been a beautiful encouragement to one another.

We talk alot in our family about how "everybody's got something."
God makes everybody with unique gifts and challenges.

Sometimes it's easy to see how we're different, like having alopecia or missing a hand, and sometimes people have things that aren't so easily visible, but one thing is for sure: EVERYBODY'S GOT SOMETHIN'.

 Speaking of handling our differences, 

the week after her accident, 

Caroline asked me to write out her thoughts on alopecia into a booklet.  Oh man, you can't imagine how happy it made this mama's heart to hear:  

"I like alopecia!  

But sometimes I wish I had hair.

Sometimes I have to itch my head.

"At school everybody still likes me, even with alopecia.

Sometimes I wear a wig to school or out places.  I have a brown wig.  I'm getting a blonde wig for Halloween to be with my Elsa dress.  Elsa is a character in Frozen.

Sometimes I feel fun with alopecia.  Mommy likes to feel my smooth head.  My family thinks I'm special.  Sometimes for dress up I wear my wig.  

I feel very happy with alopecia.  It doesn't matter if I have alopecia because I'm still special. 

 "Song:

I feel very special.

I turn my back on Satan.

My heart unfolds when I see God.

I will try to obey the Ten Commandments.

I feel wonderful.

I know I'm special.

God thinks I'm special, too."

(gotta love their train of thought!)

 Alopecia still has it's days.  It still has it's ups and downs.  At times it feels like an extra person we carry into public with us.

It's a battle we're called to normalize.  

But after my own year-long struggle to accept alopecia when Caroline was first diagnosed, I can't tell you how relieving and amazing it feels to see my daughter finding confidence, approval, and strength in her own uniqueness.

Both of my kids will face challenges in being different.  Jameson will face the unique issues of being a transracial adoptee with white parents.

We're learning to be okay with our differences 

and embrace them as who we are.

We're learning that life's not all about 

looking like we have it together,

and God uses our differences to strengthen us.

It's these differences that also help us relate to others, too.  

Because, after all,

everybody's got somethin'.

circa...

Who says kindergarten is coloring pictures and drilling the ABC's?

I've seriously never seen anything like what you're about to see!  For their work in history, Caroline's class has been working on learning a timeline of western civilization (with dates!) all year.  In the upcoming years, they will build upon their knowledge of these concepts and dates they've already learned by route when their brains can handle SO much raw information.  It blows me away.

(Pop and Mamie, this one's especially for you since you couldn't be with us to see it on grandparents day!)

Enjoy!

unashamed...

Can I just say how proud I am of my little girl?


I know.   Every parent beams with pride as your kid takes the stage at their school Christmas performance.  I get that.

But I just look at my little girl,
as confident and talented as she can be,
standing up in front of hundreds of people,

UNASHAMED of her baldness.


She even sang a beautiful solo.  (Go, Caroline!!!!)


It's been such a loooong road coming to terms with alopecia,
and now that I've found acceptance with it,
it thankfully doesn't occupy my thoughts as often.
There is so much more to my Caroline than her bald head, afterall!

But you know, as I think about it, that bald head has helped form her into the beautiful girl she really is.
She will learn lessons of beauty and differences that other children will not understand in the same way.
I pray she will not see her baldness as a problem, but as an opportunity.

It is my hope she, like Jesus, will see the outcast, the poor, the different--
and run towards them, and not away.
That she will PURSUE, not shrink back.
That she will LOVE, not just tolerate.


I couldn't be more thankful for this school, where her classmates feel more like a supportive family.

Where one of her best friends feels the difference of only having one hand.

Where the school's art teacher is a bald woman with alopecia, too.
And wears no wig.
UNASHAMED.


As our world increasingly becomes more pressured towards a higher standard of visual beauty,
I pray that Caroline would stand as a remarkable testament
that beauty doesn't have to conform to that standard,
that He creates each of us uniquely,
and that we need not fear other's approval.


Christians, let us remember we already have all the approval we need in Christ.


Thank you, God, for both of my children.


And help us all to live in light of the Gospel--
UNASHAMED.

smokey keeper...

She'd been hoping for weeks.

"Mom, I really want to be Smokey Keeper!"

"The smoky what??" I'd ask, wondering what in the world she was talking about.

"SMOKEY KEEPER!" she'd raise the intensity and volume of her voice.  Because then I'd surely understand.

Well, turns out this was finally the week.

Caroline was to be the "Smokey Keeper."


Meet Smokey, folks.  He was our weekend guest.


He comes with a small suitcase of items-- clothing, bibs, books, food-- because he travels around to classmates' homes each weekend.  It's up to the student to care for Smokey and take him places with the family, then chronicle the weekend (with photos and words) in Smokey's scrapbook.  (fun, right?)

From reading the other entries in the books, it looked like Smokey is quite the adventurer!  Just this year, he'd already been to the beach, putt putting, to a playground, a pumpkin patch, etc.

Good thing we had some fun for him up our sleeves, too.


We took him to the farm!  Here's Smokey chilling out on the hay ride.


Then Smokey got a little wild on us and decided it'd be a good idea to wander off through the tall corn field!


But he wasn't gone too long before we found him.  Sneaky guy, that Smokey.


This way, Smokey!


Now how many bears get the opportunity to ride on a 76 year old tractor, eh?


Can't you see the excitement just BEAMING from his face?


It was a great afternoon for Smokey.  (and for the rest of us, too!  I'll share our pics soon, but first things first, right?)

Sunday morning, Smokey, of course, came along to church with us. (Caroline carried Smokey's diaper bag complete with snacks, a book, and a sippy cup)

And would you believe he got to be introduced UP FRONT during announcement time to the WHOLE CHURCH?!  We didn't get to snag a picture of that one, but it's a good thing.  Smokey was already too embarrassed as it was.  Not sure he liked all the attention.

Welcome to this family, Smokey.  You get lots of attention....


We gave this bear some culture, too!  I (Amy) had a Halloween symphony concert to play, and all the kids in the audience got to dress up.  Thankfully Smokey stayed quiet for most all of the performance.


Smokey was the BOSS on the bells.  You should'a heard him.

We loved having our guest of honor.  Maybe he'll come back and see us again?


Smokey, you're the best.

proud mama moment...

Allow me to share?

Apparently each fall, Caroline's school hosts a poetry recital.  Each student memorizes and performs a poem for their classmates, parents, and some judges, and the top two from each class are chosen to perform at the school-wide poetry recital.


Each kindergartener memorized a Mother Goose Rhyme, and Caroline's was called "Baby Dolly."  (hence the props you see here)

For weeks, we were asked to practice with our children at home, working on diction, inflection, rhythm, adding gestures, speaking at a good volume, stage presence, etc.  They encouraged using props and costumes, and I'll admit, my heart could EASILY tend towards being a stage mom.

So, for that reason, I purposefully didn't make an overly big deal of this whole thing.

Afterall, Caroline's always been the kid who is good at things, (smart beyond her years!) and honestly, she needs more opportunities to watch others excel.  So I was content to let some other "go-getter" parents enjoy a win this time around.


The kids were all SO excited to finally perform their poems for their parents.  They'd been practicing in class as well, so they actually came away with learning twelve Mother Goose Rhymes and not just one.  (Caroline would recite the other children's poems to me-- in the voice and inflection of that child, of course.)


Her teacher welcomed everyone before the performances began.


And my sweet girl was the first to go!  She did so great!

Just four little lines, but oh, how we practiced those lines.  I told her this would be the LAST day she'd have to recite "Baby Dolly" ever.


Each one of them did great, actually!  Not a bad one in the bunch!

Well, not long after we left school, I received an email letting me know that Caroline and another boy (back row on the right) had been selected as the winners for their class!  

I guess that means "Baby Dolly" doesn't retire yet, afterall.

So this Friday evening, she'll be performing her poem again at the entire school's Fall Poetry Recital.  Way to go, Caroline!  (I always knew I had a drama queen-- ha ha...)  :)

I think I've mentioned this to you guys before, but see the girl on the very right of the picture above?  She is the gal with only one hand, and we love her to pieces.


How good is God to place these two gals in the same class!?  They are becoming sweet, sweet friends, and what an encouragement they can be to one another as they each grow and wrestle against their own differences.  So thankful.


AND so proud of my baby girl!