smorgasbord...

I came across some random pictures on my phone from the past few months!

Our little two-year old Jameson is now exploding with language!  Sooo maybe it's not all that clear to the average hearer, but for a guy who began with ear infections and speech delays, we are thrilled.  He's attempting to repeat almost every phrase he hears you say.

And being able to clearly communicate with him just makes us fall in love with him all the more.

 Caroline is our imaginative seven year old gal!

She made a circus in her room last Saturday.

 And at the very first sign of spring weather, she and her brother put on their swimsuits and made a "pool" to enjoy in her room.

 We have a season pass to the children's museum 

(a 10 minute WALK from our house!) 

and during the winter months, 

it's been a fun after-school activity 

for Caroline and Jameson to play and explore.

In the music studio, 

Jameson likes to take to the electric drums.

And Caroline's all about dat bass.  ha ha

 And out of all the amazing exhibits there,

it's funny that the two of them spend a good portion of time

playing together with these little "excavators,"

as they call them.

Jameson's obsessed with excavators.

Car rides are now just an excuse 

for the kids to search for them.

Construction is exciting stuff around here, folks.

Caroline is LOVING 1st grade and is doing really well in it.  Her handwriting is beautiful, and I'm impressed with all she's coming home learning each day.

 Awwww, look at the love birds.

Almost 17 years of marriage to this guy.

And I still like him.  ;)

 How about the REAL chicks that came to preschool playgroup at our community center last week??  How cool is THAT?!

Yeah, Jameson thought so, too.

 How about the time when he fell in love with the remote controlled R2D2 in the store?

Which was quickly followed by a 

screaming meltdown when we had to leave...

 Cute little pic from the playground across the street.

 Oh!  How about the time I was struggling to carry groceries up to my front door and accidentally dropped a gallon of milk?

Aren't you eager to see that picture?

 I may or may not have cried over spilled milk that day...

You know, there's alot to mourn in life these days.  But these two (as crazy as they make our life sometimes) are a reminder that in many ways, we are living some of our best days right now.  

words from the heart...

1st grade, folks.  1st grade.

We're in the big leagues now...

 While Jameson's busy with his batting practice, my Caroline is almost always busy writing, drawing, and reading.  (Is it any surprise that language is her thing?)

As you read in her first two blog posts, this little gal looooves to express herself through words.   (wonder where she gets that from...)  As a mom, I feel like I grow to understand her more as I can see her heart expressed in her writing.

Typing out messages and stories is what Caroline does best, and I've collected a few of the most recent to share with you.

Nothing beats this one.  Nothing.

(you can click on the picture to make it larger)

I think I like the "thank you for paying like 900,00 dollars for Jameson" part the best.  (ha ha!)

 I love her heart as a big sister in this one.

 I found this particular card in her room the day after we prayed for the situation in Iraq.

Doesn't it sound like a psalm, crying out for mercy and justice to the Lord?

These were on my nightstand after her first day of school last week.  I get the feeling she likes first grade.

 (by the way, Mamie, she loved the beautiful backpack with her initials on it.  Thank you!!)

There are hardly enough words to say how much I love this gal.  

I'm so thankful I paid like 900,00 dollars for her, too.  ;)

slow to speak...

I'll admit, it's not easy talking about the areas in which your kid is behind.  We want to brag on our kids.  We want them to be great at everything, naturally.  It's easier to dismiss the less impressive parts of them and ignore them.  But I'm trying not to be the mom that shies away from admitting my kids' weaknesses or inabilities.  Or my OWN weaknesses and inabilities, for that matter.  We don't have it all together.  (And never will.)  I'll be the first in line to tell ya.

Thankfully God is the One who's great!, so I don't have to pretend to be.

Having a first child so extremely advanced in language from day 1 (like you saw in Caroline's hilarious post yesterday!), has made for quite the contrast with our second child, Jameson, who is now facing speech delays.

It's normal at 21 months for a child to have at least 12-15 words.

Caroline must have had 50 by this age.  That girl was reading and writing fluently at age 3.  Crazy.

Jameson, on the other hand, is falling behind what's typical.  Not just because he's a boy, but remember all those ear infections his first year?  We are now facing the effects upon his speech and having to play catch up.

It's not that he's not talking.  Oh, he's "talking."  At least, he thinks he is.  We joke and say he's speaking Creole since he's half Haitian!  It's definitely his own little language, and every now and then I *think* I can make out a phrase he's saying and it's surprising how complex it is!

It was a HUGE breakthrough over New Years when I realized that though Jameson wasn't speaking like we were, he was perfectly imitating the rhythm and intonation of what we were saying.  If I was saying "ONE, TWOOOOO, THREE!!," he was saying, "DAH, GAAAAAAAAH, GAH!!"

That has since continued.  "Who's hungry?" I'll ask.  "DAH!" Jameson will say raising his hand in the air, meaning to say the word "me!"

He knows what we're saying.  He follows directions.  He hears me, and he understands.

The language is there.  But the speech is not.

Right now he's only got "MAMA," "DADA," "uh huh," and "uh oh" as his clear words.

When I've shared my concerns about Jameson's speech, often I'll hear:  "He's a boy- naturally, they're slower at getting language."  "You're just so used to having Caroline that you don't know what normal is."  "So-and-so's kid didn't talk until they were 3."  "He'll get it, just give him time."

While those statements are probably all true, they just don't sit well with my gut instinct about Jameson.  And you know what they say- listen to your mama's gut.

At our last visit, our pediatrician recommended that we go ahead and have Jameson evaluated by a speech therapist.  "Let's nip it in the bud now instead of later," she said.  In one sense that seemed a little overkill for just a 21 month old, but nevertheless, I was eager to hear what they'd say.  Maybe they, too, would reassure me that "he's just a boy."  Maybe they'd know how to help me understand him, and help give Marc and I some ways to stimulate his speech.

At yesterday's evaluation, they determined Jameson's language was inside of him, but he could use some help getting the words to come out clearly.  The therapist explained that during all those months when there was fluid on Jameson's ears (whether they were infected or not), language would've sounded in his ear as though we were speaking at the bottom of a swimming pool.  It was a crucial time for language development, and because of that, he's now facing delays.

The encouraging part of the evaluation was that the therapist (who has 20 years of experience) thought Jameson is facing more of an articulation problem, and she believes he could get to 50 clear words in 3 months time!  My jaw dropped at the thought.  Why wouldn't I want to give my son all the help I can to help him catch up and communicate successfully?

They explained the therapy would be in our house, every other week, and.... at no charge. FREE.  Ummm, okay.  That's now a no brainer!

I want to know my son.  I'm excited at that possibility.  I want to know what he's thinking and what he's trying to tell me.  I want to quit the pretend "uh huh's" after he speaks while I ask question after question until I hear his "uh huh."  I want him to know he doesn't have to hit or scream to get what he wants.  I want to know how to help unlock all the words that are waiting to come out.

And I can't wait to get started.

rhythm of the gospel...

I give up.   I'm done.

The minute I foolishly and naively clicked on the "publish" button to announce "...And in the last week, Jameson has begun sleeping better....," I should have known.

I'm so over this.

We've endured some of the worst nights yet with that boy this week.  Awful.

Probably the main reason it's been so bad are that he's got some brand spankin' new front teeth finally, FINALLY trying to burst onto the scene.

We are in teething hell.

There is simply no other way to put it.

Add on top of that a cold that's had him coughing and kicking up his reflux choking, and you've got a perfect storm for a slew of sleepless nights.

I know this is only a small season of life, and it may seem so trivial compared to all the challenges of parenting, but um, if you're not SLEEPING, that's a relatively large challenge, I'd say.

And I'll admit, I'm not a real gracious person (nor a good mama) when I go days on end with no sleep.

So I'm teetering on sanity a little right now.  And I'm fed up.

Jameson's gotten us into the "game" of bringing him into our bed to sleep halfway into the night. (that's a reeeeeeal fun one, isn't it?)  During our trip to Texas, we'd have to pull him in bed with us in the hotel so as not to wake up Caroline or everyone else around us.  Now that we're home, and now that he's especially in pain and not feeling well, and struggling to breathe if we can't calm him down, there's just some times he will NOT go back down in his crib.

And I'm not havin' it.  This is not a habit we're going to get used to.  NOOOOO sir.

(funny confession...I used to think getting a baby to sleep soundly through the night was soooo easy.  A one-trick formula, similar to the "cry it out" people.  I'd question other parents who had a kid with sleep issues and wonder what exactly they were doing at night.  My sleep training worked on Caroline, afterall!   And she was the best sleeper ever!  However, now I realize things aren't quite so simple in life.  And I'm alot slower to offer simple, passing judgments upon folks these days, as I'm obviously eating humble pie in this area...)

Jameson's such a cute little guy, and you can be sure there will be hundreds of lovey-dovey blog posts about him in the future.

But I can't figure this kid out.  Seriously!

From his birth, he has kept us guessing.  Not just in the sleep department.

Caroline basically followed the "how to raise a baby" manual.  She met milestones on time or earlier than expected.  And it certainly helped that she was so extremely advanced verbally.  At Jameson's age, I'd guess she was probably saying 20-30 words already.

I'm learning that Jameson, however, is just not going to be that straight forward.

He meets his milestones when he wants to meet them.  (like just getting his first tooth LAST WEEK!?)
He is eating us out of house and home.  (I am not joking-- he eats the same amount as the three of us at 13 months....)

He wants to bang on anything he can find.  The more noise, the better.  I've wondered if we have a drummer in our future.

He not only likes to hit things, but people, too.

He hits when he's upset, and as much as we're teaching him not to do that, he keeps on hitting and hitting.  I'm so tired of being smacked in the face, the second after telling him not to hit.

He's blabbering all the time, but very rarely does he form a real word yet.  (probably why he's hitting, too)  I know his understanding of language is growing by the minute, though, and he knows what we are saying.  I'm thankful he's signing some words to us to help us communicate with him.

I DID figure out one thing about him on our Texas road trip.  It was a breakthrough for me.

Though he's not making any of the sounds, Jameson's hearing and speaking the RHYTHM and inflection of words.

So if we say, "Who made you?"
He says emphatically, "GAH!"  (God)

(That one's the closest to the actual word.)  :)

"What else did God make?"
"Baaaaaaa GAH!"  (aaaaaaallll things!)

If we say, "oooone, twoooooo, THREE!"
He says, "buuuuuh, gaaaaah, GAH!"

Kinda cool, huh?  We've always thought this boy would have the rhythm in him.  :)

It was a great discovery for me, and it's helped me to listen more closely to what I thought were just random, disjointed babbles.

A few days ago, he started verbalizing in a way that sounds like an actual song.

"GAAAAAAAAAH, duh duh ga mmmm,  GAAAAAAAAAH, mmm guh ah guh,
GAAAAAAAAAAH, dah guh baaaaaaa,"  he'd "sing" as he walked down the hallway.

It's a recognizable pattern, especially how the pitch of his voice goes up higher and louder for the "GAAAAAH" part, but just like anything else in Jameson-land,

I couldn't figure it out.

Maybe some day I'll understand this child.

Last night, (or early this morning) as I frustratingly hobbled through the dark house to bring Jameson into our bed once again after two hours of Marc and I both being up and down, up and down, I couldn't keep it in.

"I am so angry with you," I began crying as I whispered into the little, shining whites of his eyes.  "I do not like what you are doing and I want you to SLEEP.  Mommy is so mad at you!"

A very fine example of parenting, lemme tell you.

I pulled the covers over us, and as he snuggled up to me, his whimpers slowly quieted down.

But mine only increased.

In the moment, it felt like nothing will ever change.  (It still does)  I began sobbing.  I was so angry, and so helpless.  SO yearning for quiet.  For him (and me) to sleep.  God, when will I ever SLEEP again??????

I can't say that I felt any better two hours later, when the alarm clock went off to get Caroline ready for school.

I got no sleep.  I'm so mad at that kid.

After getting Caroline off to school, it's probably no surprise that he (and I) both wanted to nap pretty soon after breakfast.  I was thankful for the chance to shut my eyes, even if just for a few minutes.

"YAAAAAAAHHHH!  guh duh guh maaaah    YAAAAAAAHHHHH!  juuuh duh muh gaaaaa," I heard him from the other room.  There's that "song" again.  What WAS he trying to say?

"YAAAAAAHHH!  duh guh mmmmmm....."

And then.

I figured it out.

In the midst of Mommy's gunfire of anger,
in the midst of his own physical pain,

my sweet baby was singing in his own language,

YEEEEES! Jesus loves me.  YEEEES!  Jesus loves me.
YEEEEES!  Jesus loves me.  The Bible tells me so.

Tears streamed down my face.

What a moment.

What a reminder.

Even as sweet Jameson hits,
and he screams,
and he keeps us up at all hours of the night,
and then he hits some more when we try to help him,

he is chanting the rhythm of the Gospel to me:

Yes, Jesus loves me.  Yes, Jesus loves me.

Even as I rage inwardly,
as I cry out in the night for deliverance,
as I harbor bitterness at Him,
and as I whisper hateful words of displeasure into the ear of my helpless babe,

he is chanting the rhythm of the Gospel to me:

Yes, Jesus loves me.  Yes, Jesus loves me.

This love beats on even as we screw up.  Over and over.

This love beats on even as we prove how undeserving we really are.

Just like my son's language, there are many, many things that we cannot understand.

But perhaps, if we listen closely enough,

we can hear the rhythm of the Gospel all around us.

proud mama moment...

Allow me to share?

Apparently each fall, Caroline's school hosts a poetry recital.  Each student memorizes and performs a poem for their classmates, parents, and some judges, and the top two from each class are chosen to perform at the school-wide poetry recital.


Each kindergartener memorized a Mother Goose Rhyme, and Caroline's was called "Baby Dolly."  (hence the props you see here)

For weeks, we were asked to practice with our children at home, working on diction, inflection, rhythm, adding gestures, speaking at a good volume, stage presence, etc.  They encouraged using props and costumes, and I'll admit, my heart could EASILY tend towards being a stage mom.

So, for that reason, I purposefully didn't make an overly big deal of this whole thing.

Afterall, Caroline's always been the kid who is good at things, (smart beyond her years!) and honestly, she needs more opportunities to watch others excel.  So I was content to let some other "go-getter" parents enjoy a win this time around.


The kids were all SO excited to finally perform their poems for their parents.  They'd been practicing in class as well, so they actually came away with learning twelve Mother Goose Rhymes and not just one.  (Caroline would recite the other children's poems to me-- in the voice and inflection of that child, of course.)


Her teacher welcomed everyone before the performances began.


And my sweet girl was the first to go!  She did so great!

Just four little lines, but oh, how we practiced those lines.  I told her this would be the LAST day she'd have to recite "Baby Dolly" ever.


Each one of them did great, actually!  Not a bad one in the bunch!

Well, not long after we left school, I received an email letting me know that Caroline and another boy (back row on the right) had been selected as the winners for their class!  

I guess that means "Baby Dolly" doesn't retire yet, afterall.

So this Friday evening, she'll be performing her poem again at the entire school's Fall Poetry Recital.  Way to go, Caroline!  (I always knew I had a drama queen-- ha ha...)  :)

I think I've mentioned this to you guys before, but see the girl on the very right of the picture above?  She is the gal with only one hand, and we love her to pieces.


How good is God to place these two gals in the same class!?  They are becoming sweet, sweet friends, and what an encouragement they can be to one another as they each grow and wrestle against their own differences.  So thankful.


AND so proud of my baby girl!

she's taking over...

I've noticed this girl is slowly taking over our house.


Caroline's house.


Jameson's house.

And then I found these randomly around the house:


Caroline's table.  (Oh, excuse me- I mean, Caroline's table!!)


Caroline's living room.

Not pictured: Caroline's kitchen.


Even Caroline's bathroom.


Woke up one morning to find her throwing a "party" in the house, complete with streamers.


She even decked out her lil' bro for the occasion.


He didn't seem to mind.


This party gal's got a mind of her own!

finding the right words...

I never knew how beautiful it truly is to be a parent.  It's crazy hard.  And downright unbelievable.

To watch this helpless crying bundle of cuteness slowly grow and transform
into a little girl with ideas and love in her heart.

It blows me away.

I love being there to guide her, to watch this love of mine slowly mature over the long haul.


I have no idea why, but she's always been ahead of her game in the language department.
Speaking ridiculously complex words and sentences as a toddler with such a sharp clarity that strangers couldn't help but take notice.  Reading and spelling at the youngest of age.  She's always been captured by books and reading and singing.... anything to quench the desire for WORDS.

And now this little language explosion is taking on the form of writing.

Those words are coming out on paper.

All the time.  All over my house.

I LOVE it.

Seriously, if this girl spots a blank paper in the house, it's only a matter of time...

I took a few pictures to show you.


This was "a song I wrote, Mommy."  (Definitely a chart-topper, don't you think?)

I love you, Lord.  I love you  (with a repeat sign, please notice...)  ha!
I am not nice.  Was I nice?  Yes.  (another repeat sign)
I am next.
I love that (repeat that line)
We are gnats.  
I don't like
nats are bad.  Not loving you.


It's notes like these I need to keep and pull out in the teenage years:

From CC  (her nickname)
To Mom
I love you
I care for you
and Daddy
Anna is nice


And I love the little informative ditties I find laying out sporadically in my kitchen.  :)

This one says:

Hey Mom I am going to play with my teaset.
I am going to play tea.

Thank you for that.


All of the blank pages in the world wouldn't be enough to hold the words
of how much I love her.