The other day I decided to publicly share our journey and transition from old life into new life. I shared how as a family, we generally now know what we need, but in practicality, we don't know what it's going to look like or what the path is to get there.
In some ways, it feels like I'm locked in one of those escape rooms. You know what I'm talking about? It's like, I know there's a way out of this old life, but it's as if there's a series of puzzles to solve or doors to unlock before we can figure out how to get through to the other side. Nothing is "opening up" at this point.
I don't know what school either of my children will be attending next year, and that feels HUGE and overwhelming.
We've elected to take Caroline out of the private school she's attended since kindergarten in order to put her into a small, magnet public school that specializes in the performing arts, but it's an "invite" system, and I don't know when we'll find out if she'll get in. So we wait.
I found a preschool I liked for Jameson, but of course, his classroom is already full for next year. Thankfully the director is open to trying to work it out with us, but again, we're waiting to see if and how it can happen.
I don't know if or when we'll be selling our current house. We're nowhere near ready to move to the River House (that feels like forever away...), but the house market will be heating up very soon, and the likelihood of us selling this house next fall or winter isn't high. So that brings up more questions... what if we sell the house before we're able to move in to the River House? If that's the case, where do we LIVE in the meantime? And how can we get the River House completed sooner?
We're in the middle of a semester of ministry, so it's not like we have time to work on the house. So we pay our contractor and wait as he works.
Our dream of a multi-ethnic church here in Lynchburg seems like a long way off. We're doing all we can on many fronts to help find a church planter, but ultimately, there's a lot of waiting involved..
So naturally, what does anyone do when they're struggling with waiting? I googled "how to wait" and found a silly wikipedia how-to article. (Am I the only one who does this kind of stuff?)
But the article's suggestions actually weren't too bad.
1. Occupy your time.
2. Don't try too hard.
3. Wait with other people.
1. Occupy your time. Check. No problem there. Between two kids, a campus ministry, a historic house renovation, a worship directing job, a band, a racial reconciliation group, etc., I'd say there's no problem filling up my time.
2. Don't try too hard. Not really sure what this actually means. Don't try too hard to wait? Okay, sure. I won't try too hard. (???)
3. Wait with other people.
In all of our uncertainty about what's next for us, I'm finding that it's life-giving just to bring others into the wait with us.
It's why I'm typing this blog now.
I need others to make this wait not feel so unbearable. I need others to commit to pray for our family, that God would guide us in all of this crazy uncertainty of schooling, housing, and the need for a multi-ethnic community.
So much feels up in the air right now.
Tom Petty was right. Waiting is the hardest part.