love the ones you're with...

It's hard to write.  It's hard to know what to say.

Ever since Papa's death a few weeks ago, we've been in a stage of grief.  Life is moving at too fast a pace for us to feel like we can keep up.  We're going about our days, functioning enough to do what needs doing, but we don't really know how to wade through the process of grief.  We don't really know how to pick up and carry on after the death of a parent.  It just feels like we should be waking up from a terrible dream any minute.

It's probably not a surprise that Easter was difficult.  I know that Easter is supposed to be cheerful, a celebration of Jesus conquering the grave!, and while the truth of the resurrection does give us hope, it doesn't take away the very present sting of death that we are currently feeling.  

Grieving or not, we don't traditionally do much for Easter around our place-- mostly because I'm a worship director and coordinating music for Easter is a pretty big day on the job-- but I'm just not a mom who's able to pull together treats and baskets and cook an elaborate meal when I'm here in a town without any family.  (Thankfully, my kids don't care, don't ask for it, and don't expect it...)    

My poor "deprived" children were fortunate enough to do an egg hunt at a gig of mine, AND I bought an egg-dying kit 2 days after Easter (50% off, woohoo!), to which they were thrilled.   Success! 

But thankfully the one thing we can do (and that's thanks to my mom, "Mamie") is to look nice at church on Easter morning!   Well, that's until the minute we're trying to leave the house for church and I'm running around the house like crazy because I can't find a single matching pair of socks for Jameson.... 

SO, he was all decked out in his bowtie and vest outfit for church.  WITH NO SOCKS. (ha!)

(And being the perfectionistic, Type "A" person that I am, I struggled with feeling like a complete failure of a mom on the way to church just because of a pair of stinkin' SOCKS. I have issues.)  

Blue was the color this Easter! 

I eventually got over myself and the dumb sock failure.

With everything sad happening in the last few weeks, we decided to skip town after church and squeeze in some quality family time.  All four of us piled into a king-sized hotel bed.  So what if we got very little sleep?  Hey, what we got were memories.

The next morning, we visited the North Carolina Zoo.

This is what Jameson couldn't WAIT to see at the zoo:

ELEPHANTS!   (His favorite animal right now)

There was just something healing about breaking the routine and visiting the zoo together.

Watching lemurs sunbathe.

Being inches away from a sleeping gorilla.

Watching the joy across their face as they rode the carousel.

It was magical to watch this chimpanzee reach out to meet Jameson's hand on the glass.

But this moment for me was hands down worth the trip!!:

We aren't promised tomorrow, so let's squeeze the marrow out of all the moments today.

2015...

I love the end of a year.  If it's been a great year, I love looking back at the wonderful memories.  If it's been a particularly painful year, I enjoy the opportunity to bid it farewell and hope for a better coming year.

2015 carried more ups than downs, and for that we are thankful.

Here's some of the highlights...

The first time back on her bike...

After her fall, broken wrist, AND surgery in 2015, it was a beautiful moment to watch her begin 2015 by conquering her fear and getting back on the bike.

 Pop and Mamie coming to visit

It had been years since my parents had traveled due to my dad's health.  And even though the reason for their visit wasn't a happy one (my grandmother's passing), it meant the world to have them here. 

Sweet Briar's "Closing"

Of the lowest points of our year came when the 114 yr. old Sweet Briar College preemptively announced its closing.  And even though it was ultimately saved and reopened, we lost almost all of our Sweet Briar girls and our staff and dear niece, Callie, through it all.  

1820 house

You might have expected this, but it's becoming our habit when life deals us painful blows to buy a house.  (Some people go for ice cream.  We go for real estate.)  With the sadness and stress of Sweet Briar's closing, we bought this diamond-in-the-rough 1820 house and spent our summer renovating the basement apartment into an amazing rental.  (and at some point, we still have the entire upper house left to do!)

 Her henna tattoo...

I can't explain it, but this was a 2015 moment for me.  It was like looking alopecia in the face and saying You don't define our beauty.  Caroline looked like a princess.  And it was so cathartic to crown that beautiful bald head.

ministry team members spreading out across our house practicing one-on-ones

RUF Ministry team...

With the loss of Callie and most of our Sweet Briar girls who transferred to other schools, this year felt very much like a 1st year for RUF as we moved our meeting location to Liberty's campus for the first time.  But one of the highlights of the year was watching our current ministry team truly begin to grasp what real, honest, messy community and transparency look like as a group, and God is beautifully at work in and through this group of students and our new intern, Taylor.

Day at the farm...

A simple, quiet day in the year, unplugged from technology.  (except the camera, of course) :)   Riding the tractor to the pumpkin patch.  Playing in the corn maze.  Eating a picnic dinner.  It was glorious.

Outer Banks 4x4...

When Caroline found this amazing shell on the first evening of our family vacation to the remote 4x4 area of the Outer Banks, I knew it was going to be an awesome week.

But the wild horses on the beach....

and the dolphins dancing in front of us truly made it MAGICAL.

Cabell St Collective...

Starting a band, Cabell St Collective, and bringing down the house in our first gig was a major highlight of my year.  It served so many purposes beyond the music itself, like loving our city and bringing more culture into it.  (You can "like" us on facebook!  Our next gig is Feb 13th!)

Batman and Wonder Woman...

Halloween is one of our favorite holidays of the year.  We love  the fun of dressing up, of getting out and loving our neighbors, of watching our children receive candy, and the joy of giving out candy at our door.  I've always said Halloween is one of the most Christian holidays of the year!

Christmas Day...

Kids make Christmas awesome.  It makes me so happy to watch them receive and squeal with delight and thankfulness.  

This year, after spending a few days doing Christmas with our South Carolina family, we enjoyed a peaceful Christmas Day as a family opening gifts and playing together.  I was feeling a little insecure at how little I'd actually bought for my kids this year, only to find out one of our supporting churches, Redeemer Pres, showered their missionary families with Christmas gifts this year.  I was moved to tears at their generosity.

Goodbye, 2015.  

Happy New Year to you all!  May God pour out His mercies and grace upon you in 2016.

prince charming did come, his name is daddy...

 Friday night I sent him off on a date with another gal.

(she was excited she got to wear a little make-up and perfume!)

He was so excited to take Caroline to the father/daughter Valentine's Day dance.

These two had a blast dancing the night away and enjoying dessert to their hearts' content.

Prince Charming did come.

And his name is Daddy!

My date back home wasn't so bad himself.  Maybe just a tad on the rambunctious side...

 But so, so cute.

Man, I love him.

("no, no, no, I love YOU!" he and I say back and forth to one another now.)

I love this gal to pieces, too.

The day after the dance, Caroline was invited to enjoy a girls' tea party at the community center across the street from us.

(Technically, the party was for the girls in the after-school program at the center, but since my kids are always at the park playing with their kids, the community center staff have been so gracious to include Caroline in special things like this!  It's so sweet to see my daughter making friends in our neighborhood and to see them being so welcoming to her.)

Miss Ashley came and gave the girls two etiquette classes to prepare for Saturday's tea party!

(well now, that's surely one thing we could use a little more of around here...)

During class, she taught the girls how to correctly set the table, so Caroline helped with that job upon arriving.

I'd say the tea party was a success!  

Here's to a fun-filled weekend, before both of my kids started running fevers and we've now missed the last three days of school....

lordy, lordy, look who's....

Cue the world's smallest violin, because this guy was so bummed leading up to his 40th birthday.  With the busy start to the semester, there wouldn't be any big surprises.

Or so he thought.

Little did he know, I'd been scheming for weeks, thanks to a secret facebook group and friends that did a great job of keeping their mouths closed!

Gluten free birthday cakes are sadly nothing to write home about...

Marc thought this little shindig at home was THE celebration with James and Callie (our family in town).   Dinner.  Cake.  Presents.

And then a quick date downtown for just the two of us.


As we left the house, Marc was putting on running shoes in hopes that he and I could get some exercise.  Ummm, let me see...  THAT'S not gonna happen.  I made up some complaint that wouldn't throw him off.  And it didn't.

"Well, if you're gonna wear that, I guess I'd better go put a polo on at least."

(That might be a good idea...)

We hopped in the car, and Marc started looking at movie showtimes online.

"What are you doing?" I attempt to say nonchalantly.  My heart was beating OUT OF MY CHEST. Somehow I've got to get him to the place where 30 people are currently assembled without giving it all away!!

"Looking up showtimes.  We never get to see a movie," he responded, engrossed in his phone.

While this is completely true, and we never see movies anymore (because I refuse to pay WAY too much babysitting money to just sit in a theater when I can rent the dumb thing at home later anyway), I knew this would not be the night.

"Let's just go," I said.  I knew that just inside my house, James and Callie were breaking the news to Caroline and Jameson about the surprise party and rushing them to get shoes on and GO!

We had to get out of that driveway or this plan could be BLOWN.

Thankfully, Marc reluctantly agreed to leave, though we still debated on where we should go.  My mind was going a thousand directions-- how was I going to convince him without giving it away?

I needed a stall tactic.  Just for a few minutes so that James, Callie, and the kids could get to the restaurant and in place for the big moment.

"Let's go down to the river," I said spontaneously.  "We can take a few pictures together like we did on our anniversary several years ago."

"Okay, that sounds good!" he said.  Marc's always up for spontaneity.  "We can sit there and have our date."

Nope, we can't.  But I'll figure that out later.

So down to the river we went.  I'd never been more nervous in my life!

Thankfully, there was no great place to sit, and thankfully, the mosquitos were doing a number to my pale, white legs, so it was no problem to get in the car rather quickly and go.  Without saying a word, I took the driver's seat.  This car is going to that restaurant.  He still had no clue.

Even as we pulled into the restaurant, Marc was throwing out alternative ideas of places to go!  Babe, could you just maybe GO WITH ME HERE... 

 He had no idea all these guys were ready and waiting on him to celebrate.

We walked through the restaurant towards the back patio, and I thought he'd surely know something was up at this point.

 "What's James doing h....." he began asking as the door opened.   And as he walked out onto the patio, it quickly became apparent what was happening when everyone yelled out "SURPRISE!!!"

 Happy birthday to you,
happy birthday to you!

Yessss!!!  We pulled it off!!  It was even BETTER than I could've imagined it.

 He was greeted with hugs.

And with a cane.   (he he!)

 It couldn't have been a nicer evening or a nicer atmosphere to enjoy a relaxed celebration.

You don't know how relieved I was for the surprise to be OVER!!

 Happy 40th birthday, my sweet Marc!

I love you, I love you.

Here's to many, many more years to come.

buy me some peanuts and crackerjacks...

When it's normal to watch your one-year-old transform toy violin bows, fly swatters, and old curtain rods into baseball bats, you know it's about time to get yourselves to a baseball game and let him see the real deal.

 Fortunately our little town has a minor league team that makes a fun family outing possible.  (and it was free ballcap night, too!)



Now, between the six-year-old and the one-year-old, which one would you expect to entertain?













Yep.  This girl.

All the snowcones and free t-shirts in the world couldn't keep her from getting bored and ready to leave.

Meanwhile, this guy was riveted.

I mean, RIVETED.

I'm not even kidding.  The kid was motionless for innings on end. 

Mesmerized.

Like, he didn't even care to be with our family, he was that into watching the game himself.

Just look at the twinkle in this kid's eye last year (8 months old!) at the baseball game...

Hold onto your hat, Mama, because there's sure to be some sports in your future!

And who knows, it just might be this one.