precipice...

I'm standing on the precipice of "Old Life."  (if you didn't catch the post on "old life/new life," read here.)

Most things still aren't yet settled into place, but they're coming.

Changes are around the corner.

Our house goes on the market next week.  (if that's not stressful...)

We received the letter in the mail that Caroline did NOT win the lottery system to get into the small public school where we felt God's leading.  God, what are You doing?  So we're on a waiting list and hoping to hear something as soon as this week.  We continue walking by faith through this wilderness-of-sorts.

Other steps towards "new life" are approaching that I'm not able to share publicly just yet.

But as I'm catching glimpses of "new life" on the horizon, I'm finding myself an emotional wreck about stepping away from "old life."

It's like I'm moving within my own city to another world.  And like any move, there are gains but there are losses.

Right now, I'm mourning the losses.  I am crying at the drop of a hat as things hit me.  There are people and things about "old life" that I just want to bottle up and take with me into "new life."  Thankfully, I'll still be in the same town and can see them, but I'm not naive- with change, it won't be the same.

On the other hand, I'm afraid that my dream of "new life" isn't going to live up to my hopeful expectations.  (nothing ever does!)  And I'm afraid I'll look back and kick myself for leaving "old life."

Although my head knows it's the right direction for our family.  Though we don't know the destination, I know it's the direction God has clearly been guiding us.

But knowing something doesn't take away the emotions I'm feeling on this precipice.