maybe we need another reformation....

Today isn't your typical Sunday morning.

It's big. 

This Tuesday marks the 500th anniversary of the protestant Reformation when Martin Luther nailed the 95 Theses to the church door in Wittenburg, Germany.  Maybe that's not a big deal to you, but without it, our lives and arguably our entire society wouldn't be the same without it.

So that means churches everywhere across the globe (especially those in my reformed Presbyterian tradition) will be celebrating it together today.

(So, of course- Murphy's law-- my son comes down sick in the middle of the night, which means I can't go to church.  But while pouring him a warm bath, I got to thinking, and started jotting down a few thoughts.)

It's easy as a Protestant to look back on history and see who was on the right side of it, you know?

Yeah! The Reformation.
Yeah!  Martin Luther.

The church had become terribly corrupt and self-serving.  Its doctrine was out of line with the Scripture.   It oppressed people monetarily by demanding payment for the promise of eternal life.

That all sounds crazy to our modern ears, right?  Of COURSE things needed to change.

The church itself needed to be challenged, held accountable, and cleansed of its corruption at the time.

And thanks to the courage of our buddy Martin Luther to get it started, it eventually was.

But today I'm thinking more deeply about the terribly difficult road it took for Martin Luther and the Reformers.  Change didn't come overnight, and it didn't come without a great deal of suffering for all of those involved in the movement of resistance.  After demonstrating his own form of peaceful, nonviolent protest, Martin Luther's life was characterized by constant pressure to defend this movement called the Reformation politically and theologically against the dominant, all powerful Catholic church.

 I'm sure that was one stressed-out guy, y'all.

It's important to note that Luther's intentions were never to split from, but to "reform" what already existed if that was possible. He certainly wasn't playing by the rules, but he wasn't abandoning the system, either.

But like most any dominant institution or company, a few revolutionaries weren't going to change anything.  It wasn't until some of the cries of the Reformation like Sola Gratia, Sola Fide, Sola deo Gloria, Sola Christus, and Sola Scriptura (Latin phrases meaning Grace Alone, Faith Alone, For God's Glory Alone, Christ Alone, and Scripture Alone) took hold of people's hearts and began to spread uncontrollably like wildfire that it was clear there would be no stopping this thing.

I wonder what it must have been like for Luther to stand alone in protest against a centuries-old establishment that he himself loved and belonged within.  To brave the wilderness, as Brene Brown would say.  Luther was risking his very life when he stood alone.

As people slowly caught on to Luther's seemingly "revolutionary" ideas of getting back to the heart of the Christian faith, I wonder how increasingly threatened those in power must have felt.  He was excommunicated from the church, called before emperors and asked to recant his beliefs.  But thanks be to GOD Luther remained defiant for the good and godly beliefs in which he was fighting.

And we're all better for it today, amen?

But here's what I'm thinking.  Just as the church had become misguided and corrupt by its own desire for power back then, we see it happening in our country today.  Maybe it isn't the doctrines of salvation that are being twisted as much as they were in the 1500's, but perhaps affirming and applying the doctrines of God's IMAGE and God's KINGDOM are being missed and more importantly dis-missed by a majority culture within our evangelical institutions.

The story of the Bible itself is a Savior who came as a poor, homeless man in order to 1) reconcile sinners to Himself AND 2) to reconcile two groups that hated one another (Jews and Gentiles) into the SAME FAMILY of God.  Though the racial and economic tension and reconciliation in the Gospel story is radically applicable to us today, our homogeneous churches are the fruits of generations who have focused on the first half of the Gospel without regard for the latter.

Maybe we need another reformation?

Maybe it's already happening.  Maybe that's what all this cultural mess we're feeling these days is about.

I sense the Spirit is in the business of waking some of His people up.

Do you sense the small wildfire burning within the hearts of those who yearn for true biblical, Gospel-centered justice?   Could it be that what's instinctively being labeled as a "liberal, political agenda" is really an attempt to dismiss the flames of reformation that are beginning to sweep our nation?

Do you sense division, even within the church?  It's okay.  The Reformation shows us that division and peaceful protest can ultimately be for the good of God's kingdom.  

Is the church engaging in healthy discussions on matters of race, poverty, and culture?  Understanding the doctrines of God's image and His kingdom demand that we pay attention to what's happening around us.   Is the church listening to the voices of the modern day Martin Luthers, or is it seeking to silence and excommunicate them?

Is the American evangelical church acknowledging, confessing, and repenting of it's own history that kept people of color from entering its doors just a few decades ago, creating the safe haven of the American black church, and does it humbly welcome them in today?   Does the church recognize its compliance of anti-Gospel practices and the long-term, continued lingering effects of hundreds of years of enslavement within our country?

Do churches have a genuine desire to ensure the diversity of God's image isn't just within the congregation, but also in leadership roles as well?   Or similar to the 1500's, is the long-standing institution of the church feeling politically and economically threatened and reacting in fear, desperate to maintain power?

What if (bear with me) the cries of this reformation are the words "Black Lives Matter?"  I'm sure the 5 Solas made those in the catholic church shudder back then, too.

In 500 more years, what will history show us about the American church's love for the poor, the oppressed, the marginalized?

And whose side will you be on?

"God doesn't need your good works, but your neighbor does."  -Martin Luther

the slowness of recovery...

I just read over my last blog post.  Though there's likely a few more things accomplished on the River House, every word typed then still applies fully to this day.

It's hard, you guys.

Life isn't settling down into any sense of "normal" yet.  We wonder if and/or when it ever will. 

It's day to day.  We focus on what needs completing this day, and we're succeeding if we can do that.

There's layer upon layer to our current stage of suffering.  There's physical, material/financial, emotional, and relational suffering.  There are large looming questions of belonging and identity for us as a family.

Wounds are trying to scab and scar.  Many days, they still feel very fresh and raw.

And you know, it's all capsizing upon us as we're entering into what we're calling "new life."  Maybe we thought "new life" would be bliss.   

My therapist tells me this will get better.  But the chapter is so long, the path is so dark that it honestly feels like it might never change. 

(Sorry, this post does not contain much hope.  That's just where I am in the journey.)

I'm tired of reaching out, tired of asking for help.  This isn't resolving in 2 weeks.  There's no easy fix.  No one wants suffering, but we really don't want suffering (for ourselves or others) that lingers on and on.

I feel as though I can't even trust my brain right now.  One day I'm convinced of one thing, and the next, I'm convinced of the opposite.  My mom always told me we don't make big decisions when we're upset in the moment, so I'm learning to take one day at a time.  One step even. 

I don't have to have all things figured out.  I just have to focus on this day.

It's so timely that Brene Brown's new book is entitled, "Braving the Wilderness: the Quest for True Belonging."  I'm reading it (well, listening to Brene read it to me) as if it were written directly to me. Where do I truly belong?  With whom do I truly belong?   (I'm thinking more broad spectrum along the lines of identity, culture, race, faith, politics, etc.)

Just as this home renovation is taking FOREVER, so does healing and recovery from "old life" to "new life." 

I'm looking for people who can walk down this crazy, windy journey with me.  People who are truly "safe" and can be trusted to love the unlovely parts of me.  People who are committed to me and my recovery.  People who want to understand and ask good questions.  People who are okay if I'm in process.

If I question.  If I cry.  If I say stupid things.  If I'm just a hot mess. 

And who understand it takes a long, long time.

God is most definitely at work through this suffering, but the process is slow and so painful.