one city, two worlds...

I'm sure it's like this in every city, but rarely do we have our toes in both worlds.

Last week, however, Marc and I ventured with a team of RUF students to Chicago for a Spring Break mission trip to the southside of the city.  (yes, the place with one of the highest murder rates in the nation)  We've taken students on this trip twice before, and it's been life-changing for them and especially for us.

But since my sister lives in a suburb just north of Chi-town, I decided to throw both kids in the van with  the students and we all made the 12 hour trek together.  (Crazy!, I know, but hey- this is how we roll, kids, so get used to it...)

Our students weren't the only ones there.  About 130 college students from several RUF's across the nation teamed up for this trip, so it was a good opportunity for our students to meet other RUF students among other things.  You absolutely MUST read this very short, yet brutally honest account from one of the other campus ministers about this invasion of predominantly white college students to the southside.

Go ahead.  Click on it, and then come back here.  I'll wait.

Wasn't that great?

There's nothing like an inner-city mission trip to show you your own sense of white privilege and entitlement, eh?

So, okay, back to what I was saying.

Typically when you hear about the southside of Chicago, it's most often about how many murders per capita are occurring there.  It's what the news tells you, and it's the place where people in the suburbs are taught NEVER to go.  So understandably, it's difficult to think that anything good and godly happens there.  Naturally, we look at the poor and the downcast, we hear of the gang violence and shootings, and we think, What good could come from THERE?

But it's such a contrast to actually GO and get a much different picture.

Thankfully God's kingdom goes beyond the borders of our suburban fear and into the heart of our cities!  Our students got to...

• See that God is truly at work in the southside of Chicago and see firsthand the what the churches there are doing day in and day out. 

• See that brokenness is just as much present in the suburbs, though often hidden by economic resources.

• Experience and appreciate the food, music, and warm community of a very rich, but different culture than their own as they served in schools and helped out with work projects. 

• Gain a sense of the diversity in God's kingdom, and catch a vision on how we can be bridge builders to the cities in which we live.

Fascinating stuff, right?  (Well, it is to us, anyways!  This trip and this ministry of Sunshine has definitely impacted us in our decision to adopt transracially.)

One city, two worlds.

Urban and suburban.

We'll start with the urban week of Marc and the students...

Here's a scene one of our students snapped of beautiful downtown Chicago on their night out.

This is the mural across the street from Sunshine Gospel Ministries, their host for the week.

Cool fact:  Everyone that works at Sunshine also lives in the neighborhood.

Here was the breakdown... each day in the Southside was divided into three parts.

1)  The first part of the day included service projects.  This (pictured above) is what Marc got himself into- sanding drywall and painting a church that is ministering alongside of Sunshine in the neighborhood.  (Looks like snow inside, huh?)


Many of our guys worked in the basement of an abandoned building that Sunshine is rennovating, digging irrigation trenches and stacking bricks all week.  (now that's really fun...)


This building will eventually become a coffee house, apartments, etc.  What a literal picture of how God takes our broken, wretched hearts and transforms them into works of beauty!

Other students from our group spent time in the southside schools, tutoring students, helping out in classrooms, etc.

2)  The next part of the day was about being exposed to what's happening in the city.  One day the students found homeless people and took them to lunch.  Another day (pictured here), they rode the train from the southside up to the suburbs, seeing the difference in demographics the farther north in the city they went.  Another afternoon, they toured the largest homeless shelter/ ministry in the United States.

3)  The evenings consisted of worship and a time of teaching.  (Pictured above is one of our students, Will, leading the music for the group.)


Our students all came back talking about what an impact Pastor J and Joel (the director of Sunshine) had upon their worldviews about the poor and about the city.  I love seeing our students wrestling against stereotypes and ideas they have grown up carrying, in order to see more clearly how Christ's kingdom spans across culture, race, and class.  This trip is awesome!

Here was an exercise the students did after their time of training:


"The Poor Are..."


And I loved this answer one of them wrote.

Wow.


The final evening included a hip hop concert.  (Very fun for the students, as you can imagine!)

We can be praying for our cities, that God's glory would shine forth in them.

God is at work in the city!

And here is a snapshot of the other world where I spent the week... (to be continued)

like mommy, like daddy...

Like Mommy.


Like Daddy.


Like Mommy.


Like Daddy.

i see the kingdom...

In the faces of my children, I see the Kingdom.


I see a Plan so out of my control,

and so outside of my own ideas

and genetics.


I see two heroic young women who were touched by this Kingdom.

Two women

who chose to bring redemption out of brokenness,

who endured much more than the pains of childbirth,

suffering the emotional hell of losing a child

voluntarily.

So that their dreams for their babies could come true.

Such sacrifice!

I don't think they'll ever fully know

how much they made my dreams come true, too.

Thank you, thank you, thank you....


These faces remind me of a Kingdom that isn't based on

blood
achievement
merit
strength.

But rather, one that values

belonging
resting
difference
weakness.


A Kingdom that is made up of all colors

all nationalities
all political persuasions
all classes
all generations
all shapes and sizes.

On days like these when I am tempted toward discouragement

about the differences, about the stares and whispers

I must look away from those faces


and look at these.

And remember the Story He has given us.  


The Kingdom always marches on, presses on.

It takes messed-up things

really messed-up things

and transforms them into beauty.

It is always at work around us,

but rarely in the way we think it is.


The Kingdom always sees things differently:

The last now come first.

The weak are really the strong.

The lowly and despised are the guests of honor.

And at the helm of this Kingdom

is a Savior who had nothing that would attract us to him.

Nothing that we should desire him.

(Isaiah 53:2)


I see the Kingdom in these faces.

I see a King full of tenderness and grace to me.

Pouring out blessings too wonderful to fathom.


And I cannot do anything but WORSHIP.

at 4 months...

Can you believe it?  I've been around for 4 months now!

Wanna know what I'm up to?

At 4 months:

• I am a happy, easy going, smiley little guy.  With a very spirited and intense big sister, this has been a very welcome dynamic for our family!  :)  If you keep me fed and rested, I'm pretty low-key and won't give you too much fussing.  I'm still able to sit pretty quietly through church, too.  Mommy and Daddy say it's the "island" in me. (since I'm half Haitian)

• I have a big sis who still adores me.  She is quite entertaining to watch, as you can imagine.  She's a little unpredictable with me, though, so I don't quite trust her to be gentle when she's holding me.  (so you will rarely see a picture of me smiling when she's holding me) :)

• I'm sleeping for longer stretches in my crib at night!  If Mommy and Daddy "top me off" while I'm still sleeping before they go to bed around 11:00 or 11:30, I'll sleep until about 4am.  Then once I'm fed, I'm back down again until around 7ish.  It's definitely an improvement, so Mommy and Daddy aren't complaining! 
• If you look closely, you can see how my crib is slightly elevated on one side.  At the top of the crib is a white, fabric sling (called a Tucker sling-- it wasn't cheap, but it's been great!) that keeps me strapped in and prevents me from rolling down to the bottom.  Those things, combined with sleeping on my tummy, have been SO helpful for my reflux, which seems to be holding quite steady. 

• I am laughing big-time now!  I loooove getting close to faces, hearing funny sounds, and being gently bounced.  Mommy and Daddy have found my ticklish spots, especially on my sides and my neck.  It seems like everyone in my family is now out to make me smile and laugh!

• I am making lots of coos and squeals these days!  I keep hearing this one word, "MA-MA," over and over again, and I get the impression that she wants me to say it... hmmm...  :)
• With such a noisy big sis around the house, I have learned to nap through almost anything thus far.

• Look at me holding up my head and chest now!  Tummy time isn't met with quite the complaining that it used to be.  No attempts at rolling over yet, but I'm sure it won't be long!

• However, I DO want to stand up... alot!  I prefer it to sitting most of the time.  That's why time in my door jumper has been so great- it keeps me completely elevated for my reflux, plus I get to "stand" and even bounce!

• Another highlight of this month is now the reaching.  Hair, jewelry, toys, whatever I can get into my little hands, I will try!  I'm still working at all the hand-eye coordinating to keep it in my hands once it's there, though.  :)

• When my sister sings or says silly things to me, there's nothing I like more.  
• Like alot of babies my age, I've lost a good bunch of hair in the back of my head (where it rubs against the car seat or when I'm being fed), and also along both sides.  (where I turn my head while I'm sleeping on my tummy)  I figure I'm heading toward a mohawk...

These last four months have been amazing for me!

I'm starting to become more aware of things and people.

But hands down, it's been even more amazing for my Mom and Dad,

who want to snuggle and kiss me all the days of my life.

let's talk hair...

Hair?  Really?

For the last three years, this blog has been about grieving over the loss of hair,
and in this family, we do everything we can to downplay hair,
so now it's time to talk about it?


Is this a joke?

Coming from the white girl who has a head full of stick-straight hair
and wouldn't know what to do with curly hair to save her life.
Plus she has a daughter with no hair at all!

What does a gal like me know about doing my black son's hair??

Not a THING, really.

Seriously!

Which is why I've been reading up pretty extensively on the subject, because at least to me, it feels somewhat like learning a foreign language.  I'm terrified I'm gonna mess it up!  I mean, the last thing the poor kid needs is for his hair to look like his white mama doesn't have a clue, right?  :)

So I'm learning.

This child is doomed, if I do say so myself.  I don't have girl's hair to play with or style.  So sorry, bud.  You're it.  Your hair is gonna get played with and fussed over.  It's just the way it's gonna be for you.  And it's kinda fun for me.

So we're starting young.


I've read that these little finger coils are cute on little boys, and they are supposed to be protective to the hair as well.  I know, I know.  He barely has any hair to begin with.  But I figured it wouldn't hurt him to start learning to sit and get used to the feeling of having his hair done.


And I think it's a cute change!  Especially since his hair is getting so patchy in the back and sides from where he naps, this style helps it all look a little more tight to his head, so the balding spots aren't quite as noticeable when he's wearing it this way.  (though right now, it only stays this way for about a day or so)

Apparently, in general, the more curly hair is, the less often you should wash it.
Straight hair like mine makes too much oil and needs daily washing.
(I couldn't imagine skipping a day without shampooing-- I'd be a grease ball!)

But curly hair like his doesn't produce oil easily,
so the challenge is keeping it moisturized and conditioned.
So we're washing his hair about once a week.
And only using conditioner.  (called "co-washing"- weird, huh?)

I've learned a TON about it from this blog.

I'm still learning what types of products work best on his hair, and just when I get it "figured" out, his hair will change on me, I'm sure.  The problem I'm having now is-- his hair looks good after I spray a mixture of water, detangler/leave-in conditioner, & oil in it, but then, only a few hours later, it appears dry and frizzy all over again.

Obviously, any advice you all have is more than welcome.


The second time I tried the finger coils (last week), it must have been super relaxing because in the middle of it, he fell fast asleep.


I don't blame him... wish i could do this when I get my hair done!

You can see here how the twists are more pronounced while the hair is wet...


... but they shrink down closer to his head once his hair dries.

Isn't he the sweetest little thing?


Cute little guy, no matter what his hair looks like!

Certainly HE doesn't care!

If there's one thing we say in this family, it's that you don't need hair to be beautiful.


So leave me alone, woman!  :)

the highs are high, the lows are low...

Oh, this gal.

The love of my life.  The joy of my life.

And if I'm being honest... the challenge of my life.

I'm sure every parent has to feel a bit schizophrenic, right?

One minute I can be filled with soooooo much love and patience.
And the next?
She'll say something to me or do something
that has my blood pressure feeling like it's through the roof.

I'm so beyond grateful to God for both of my amazing children.
But they also stretch me above and beyond what I had ever experienced pre-kids.

I need His grace daily, and there's nothing better than parenting to show that to you.

I want to be a great parent.  Like, really great.

And yet, I fail.  Over and over again.

So thankful for grace.  It's humbling.


When you're five, the highs are very high, you know.

And the lows are indeed, low.

Potty humor has entered the vocabulary.

Apparently "poop" is the funniest word ever.

And it's also super funny at this age to do the things
you know you're not supposed to.

The things that your Mommy has just asked you not to do.

But the highs?


They are high!

It's fun to be a rockstar!


It's even more fun to turn your little brother into one!


These gals are rockstar best friends!

Well, until they both decide they're not friends anymore.  Then ensues typical girl drama.


On a particularly rough day with each other at preschool yesterday,
they were both sent to talk to the "principal."

Hence, 50 "Be kind to Leah" 's were in order.  And no sweets for the rest of the week.

Serious business, folks.  :)

Thankfully, they talked to one another on the phone that afternoon,
apologized for what happened,
and quickly started making plans to be ballerinas together once more.

Oh, five years old...


But then, this gal makes our days so bright.

(with more than just the great fashion shows she gives us)  :)


She fills our home with energy and music and imagination.

She leaves little love notes on my pillow at night.

And here's what she filled out about her Daddy.
(see above- if you click on the picture, it will show larger)

Did you see my favorite line?

"The best thing about my dad is: [and she wrote] I love him and he loves me."

That makes my heart sing.

But regardless of all the highs and lows...


We couldn't be more grateful that she's ours.