Even almost a decade later, there's something about Mother's Day that conjures up the sadness of my own fight against infertility.
Something about Mother's Day, even now as a mother!, carries sensitivity for me, probably because of all the Mother's Days in years past when it was emotionally the hardest day of my year.
I am a mom now, and I can't believe I'm a mom.
I cried so many tears to be where I am now.
And looking at the joy in the faces of my children (yes, complete with underwear on their heads), I can see clearly now how good my Father was to tell me "no" for that season.
This was the plan.
These were to be my children. Not from my own womb.
I'm not a mom because I deserve to be.
I saw a meme that jokingly said "All moms give birth to a child. Except my mom, she gave birth to a legend."
And after I laughed at it's silliness,
I thought, "All moms give birth to a child? I didn't give birth to a child."
And yet I'm a mom just the same.
Being a mom isn't about counting the weeks your tummy grows larger. It doesn't require labor & delivery, breastfeeding, or even the same last name.
Being a mom is the commitment to give a child all that you are,
to never give up on them.
Being a mom is kissing boo boos. It's being the one to wipe the tears from little faces and reassure them everything will be okay.
It's a love that commits to do anything, ANYTHING for the sake of your child.
I can't help but think about my children's birthmommies.
What does Mother's Day feel like for them as they think about the babies they lovingly placed in my arms?
It's because of their painful sacrifice I can be called "mommy" in the first place.
I am so unbelievably humbled.
Being a mom in the day-to-day is really tough.
Most days, it feels like it will literally do me in.
But in the strangest mysteries of God's providence,
He has chosen me (ME!?) for this purpose.
And He's entrusted two precious little ones to my care
who call me "Mommy."
To all the new adoptive & foster mamas out there
who (like me) can feel a little less "qualified" in our Mom role, and feel the complexities of Mother's Day, who are kissing boo-boos and tucking in at night
just the same as any of 'em...
And to all the mamas everywhere,
Happy Mother's Day to you.