she is amazing...

Unfortunately, life doesn't stop, even when you wish it would.

I know it's only been a little over a week, but Marc and I are still feeling the loss of this adoption.  The pain lingers on, much as I'd like to deny it or try to just get over it.

But in the meantime, there's also lots of wonderful, tender moments still happening in my family.  It's crazy- I'm simultaneously living some of the saddest and greatest days of my life.

This week, my daughter has amazed me so many times.  She is amazing.

She prays for God to give us a baby.  She is not sad, and she doesn't want us to be sad.  Of course, she must learn that life will be full of both happiness AND sadness and loss.

We drive by the maternity home and she says to me, "Mommy, is that where the birthmommies live?"

I watch her be incredibly sweet to the little kids at the playground.  Her face lights up with delight as she watches them and plays alongside them.  I can't help but long for the day when she becomes a big sister... oh, how her face will light up!  (and then she's in for a wake up call!)

This past week she has given more help to our family, taking on new responsibilities like fixing her own cereal at breakfast and washing herself at bathtime.

At church on Sunday, she looked at me on the stage and proudly whispered to the student next to her, "That's my Mommy."

I am utterly grateful for her, God.
Especially now.
I am humbled to be called her mom.  What a gift!

And if you were to ask her what's at the center of her world right now, she'd tell you about preschool.  Three mornings a week and she absolutely LOVES it.

So the following pictures are some recent pics from her preschool teacher.  I want to remember these sweet, happy days.


The second week of school, I came to Caroline's class to talk to them about alopecia.  (Caroline was very excited about this.)  The kids were sooooo quiet, you could hear a pin drop.


We brought our book "Everybody's Got Something" and showed the kids pictures of Caroline when she had hair and how it slowly fell out until she was bald.


I love her, I love her.


Look at my child's pad.  Who is this four year old???


For show and tell, Caroline brought her doll with alopecia, Avery!  These kids are going to be experts on alopecia!  he he


Getting lined up for the 1/10th miler fun run...


And they're off!  Go, go, go!


Great run, girls!

I'm a proud, proud mama.
She is simply amazing.