Monday, January 13, 2014

provisions in the disappointment...

In the last post, I shared with you all the beauty of Caroline's open adoption.

The same is unfortunately not true (yet) for our son, Jameson.

It makes our hearts sad that Jameson doesn't have the same sweet connection with his birthfamily that Caroline does with hers.  In fact, at the end of our visit with Caroline's birthfamily, Marc suddenly became overwhelmed with tears, grieving the fact that Jameson doesn't have the opportunity to know and love his birthparents like Caroline does.

Many of you remember our first and only visit with Jameson's birthmother when he was one month old.  It was an amazing visit.  We loved her.  I had hopes then that this wasn't the end.  Marc and I felt that we'd see her again.

Since that visit, we've sent monthly updates and pictures to our adoption agency, and they have forwarded them on to his birthparents.  (called a mediated adoption, or a "semi-open" adoption)  We know that she has moved back to Georgia where she's from, and our caseworker said she enjoyed seeing the pictures of Jameson each month.

We've made it known repeatedly in our letters that we'd love to visit with her again and that the door is WIDE open on our end when (and if) they're ready to meet.

However, two months ago, the update and pictures were returned to the agency.

And our caseworker couldn't get a hold of them.  She assured us that this doesn't necessarily mean they don't want to receive the updates... it could be as simple as forgetting to update new contact information.  But obviously it could be more than that.  There could be a myriad of reasons.

Sigh.  I understand.  But it still hurts.

Nevertheless, I'll continue to write the monthly updates and send the pictures to the agency, and in case they get in touch with her, or she comes back seeking the information, they'll be there in a folder for her.  

Just like in any relationship, there can be times of distance and times of closeness.  And I'm holding onto the hope that just because Jameson's birthmother doesn't have contact with us now doesn't mean it will always be so.  Who knows what the future holds?

I'm not willing to close that door emotionally- I will continue to hope and pray on behalf of my son.

HOWEVER, the story doesn't stop there.

There is provision, even in the disappointment.

Rewind 25 years ago or so, and meet my dear childhood friend, Tiffany.   She spent many hours around my family, and she had one of the biggest hearts I have EVER met.  Sadly, we lost touch with one another in high school.

One day a few years ago, my mom was talking with a co-worker of hers about our family, and the man mentioned something about his wife, Tiffany, that made the lightbulb go off in my mom's head... this was the same Tiffany from long, long ago!

Thanks to facebook, Tiffany and I were able to reunite and reconnect!  What a joy!

And when Marc and I found out we were adopting an african american son, Tiffany was naturally one of my first go-to's!   (What did I know about black hair, afterall?!)  :)  She was SO excited for us, and more than eager to help me!  She put some hair care products in the mail right away.   A few months later, a wonderful care package arrived with gifts for both of the kids from Tiffany and Ebed.

Fast forward to my dad's lung transplant, and the day I flew into Dallas, it was Tiffany and Ebed that came up to the hospital to visit and encourage our family.  So, so sweet to reunite in person!

Over lunch that day, Tiffany asked about our level of contact with Jameson's birthparents, and as I explained the situation, my heart saddened again.  Thankfully, this time, my sister came up with a BRILLIANT idea.... make Tiffany and Ebed what they were already functioning as.... Jameson's godparents!

Yes.  It made SO much sense.

Jameson may not have a birthfamily, but God, in his loving kindness to him, has still provided for him.  Jameson could have an extended family of his own, just as Caroline does, that loves him and cares for him throughout life.

To our delight, Tiffany and Ebed were thrilled to be asked.

Jameson, meet your godparents!

I couldn't have asked for a sweeter, warmer couple for you to look up to!

They have three older children, and they love Jesus just as our family does!

"Aunt" Tiffany was so great to hold you and let Mommy eat her dinner in peace.  (ha ha!)

I think you ate bread as your entire meal... :)

If only this picture wasn't blurry, but how sweet is this??  :)

I just can't thank God enough for how He brought us all together (and back together!).

Even in the disappointment,

He is so good and faithful to provide.
Posted by Picasa


  1. I balled my way through this post! God is so faithful!! We have been greatly blessed by your family and thank God for little Jameson! We love yall more than words.

  2. Love it - perfect extra family so that it's not just Caroline who has one!

  3. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.