Thursday, September 24, 2015

a season...

We're in a season.  (And I don't mean Fall.)  

We're attempting to stay sane in the process, but that is certainly questionable these days!

I'll start with the good news.  For the last two weeks, we haven't changed a single dirty diaper. (yahoo! potty training!)  

Ministry has been good, and REAL, and we also love our new intern, Taylor.

But I can hardly get ten minutes in at the Y until one of the workers comes to tell me the sudden separation anxiety is too much for sweet Jameson.  I'm trying to work through it, but the screaming-bloody-murder all the way there was almost enough to turn the car around this morning.  Nevertheless, I walked in, nerves shot, and only got to converse with the childcare workers because my guy was teetering on insanity if he couldn't cling to my leg.  I thought we had worked past all that already.  Oh toddlerhood.

Though she's doing amazing in school, Caroline is exhausted at the day's end.   In her exhaustion, I receive the brunt of her verbal intensity, and man, can my daughter lash out.  It's like we've already reached the teen years, all joking aside.  (I suppose my mother is laughing reading this, since Caroline is just like me...)  The desire for independence trumps obedience.  Gentle correction quickly yields running off and slamming doors, threats to run away.  Heaven help me.  I know this is all normal kid stuff, but it's still heartbreaking to this mama who loves my daughter so fiercely.  I'm a borderline perfectionist to be a "good" mom, and often times even being the "good" mom still results in failure.  (because we're dealing with two sinners, not just one.)

Marc and I together are continuing to process through issues of identity in the midst of our culture.  How do we live and serve in a largely legalistic, religious culture in which we feel different and often alone?  What does it look like to embrace our freedom in Christ and be truly authentic and transparent, yet use discernment and wisdom with others whom we love and hope to serve?  

We've changed over the past few years, and now, as a collectively black-and-white family, I think Marc and I are feeling a little culturally homeless.  

We're in a season.  We can always use your prayers.  Prayers as we attempt to parent, prayers as we attempt to minister to college students, prayers as we attempt to do this thing called life.

May God be gracious to us all!

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