could it be?...

Big adoption news!:  We have an interview with a birthmom on Wednesday!

There is a young lady residing in the maternity home connected with our agency who is due in less than a month (Oct. 12th) and she has decided to pursue an adoption plan for her baby BOY.  (a boy!  Marc is, of course, beyond thrilled about that!)   She looked at all of the waiting families profile albums, and then selected two families that she wants to meet!

Which means!... we could be reeeeally close to having a baby & I could potentially be 9 months "paper" pregnant right now. (woohoo!)  OR we are about to hit a big 'ol disappointing bump in the adoption rollercoaster.  Deep breath.  We'll think about that when the times comes.

But it's quite the ride for now!  Oh, I can't explain how excited and nervous we are!!

So far, from what we know, things look great on paper... we like that she wants an open adoption, we love the first name she has chosen for the baby! (which we'll be discussing with her on Wednesday, but no, we would never share with you all before the birth...he he), and we are hoping that we have a good connection with her on Wednesday.

At this point, it's very difficult not to think of this as a competition.  Who is the other family?  When are they interviewing?  What if she likes them better than us?  Trust me, I am feeling SO much pressure to look my very cutest in hopes of "winning her over."  It feels much like a first date or a job interview-- only it's for THE most important job we'll ever have!  I want her to like me SO badly.  I'm sure she is feeling some of the same pressures, too--- what will they think of ME?  Will they judge me?, etc. 

But in my more "sane" moments, I quickly come back to God's providence.  He knows the story.  He knows whose baby that is.  He knows what He is doing with this sweet girl, and how He is potentially going to redeem a painful, broken time in her life through this adoption.

And nothing I do on Wednesday will change or thwart His plan.

If I could just stop thinking about myself and focusing on the dumb details that she probably doesn't care about-- what do I wear?  What should I say & not say?-- and just commit to being MYSELF and focus on HER, then that would be the best situation all around for us all.

The first time I sat across a table from Caroline's birthmom, Megan, I felt the same pressure and nervousness, but Marc and I committed ourselves to just love Megan like we would any of our college students in our ministry, no matter what she decided concerning adoption.  The Lord had placed us in her life, even if just for one meeting, to talk to her and listen to her.  I didn't walk away from that meeting thinking we had just "scored" ourselves a baby.  On the contrary, Marc and I gave ourselves about a 20% chance it would ever work out.

When it comes to these things, only God knows.

So on Wednesday, we'll be sitting down across a different restaurant table, this time with a different girl in a different situation.  She'll have her mom with her, and we'll have her caseworker and our caseworker to chat with.  We'll be eating lunch across the table from a gal who potentially might be about to go into labor with our child!  Could it be???

Then we'll wait.  For a yes or a no.  It's 50/50.  We could possibly know something by the end of this week. (!)

We are praying for this special girl, that the Lord would give her clear direction.  I'm praying that whichever family it ends up being, everything would be a clear "fit" to that end.  If this baby is not supposed to be ours, my prayer is that it would be evident as such.

Little does she know that there's an entire ARMY of you praying, though...  :)

Caroline's beyond excited, and telling everyone, "There's a birthmommy who's got a baby in her tummy, and she wants to meet us!"  (it will just be me & Marc at the interview, though)  She also says, "If she doesn't pick our family, it's okay."  I think we've prayed for so long for God to bring us a baby at just the right time & only when it's just the right birthmommy that she will roll with it in the event that it's not ours.

I know so many of you are praying alongside us, and I can't begin to tell you how much we appreciate it!  I promise to update you guys as often as I'm able.  But more than praying a baby for our family, please pray for the Lord to draw our family, this birthmom, and the other family into a closer trust upon Him through this.

And keep your fingers crossed!  :)