Tuesday, January 8, 2013

everything is accomplishment...

I'm realizing how much I thrive on what I can look out and say I accomplished.

Even though I'm rarely ever feeling "on top" of my to do's, even before baby, I guess I've come to expect that I should have control over what gets done in my day and what is alright to leave for tomorrow.  I felt like there was enough hours in the day to get a few things done and to still have quality time to spend with my daughter.  The standards around my house are really not all that high, (although as a perfectionist, I'm starting to wonder if that's true...) but if I can maintain things at a relatively functioning level?  I'd say I generally feel accomplished.

(On a side note, it really is sad and embarrassing how much of a direct correlation there is between my inner sense of peace and the level at which my home is picked up.  I know I'm not the only one.)

But in some seasons of life, like the post partum one I'm in now, even the simple is daunting.

Impossible feeling.

Even the smallest luxury like a shower is hard to come by.

And I reach the end of a day and feel a little angry.  What have I accomplished??  I look at my husband, who had hours of quiet, uninterrupted study time and adult conversation at work that day (with no one yelling at him, spitting up on him, or demanding from him, I might add) and I feel jealous.

And maybe a little bitter, if I'm being honest.

Being a stay at home mom is HARD.  Sometimes physically.  But always, ALWAYS emotionally.

There's almost nothing better than it for one's sanctification.

(I'm fortunate my husband "gets" this, and is nothing but respectful and encouraging to me about my job at home, but I know that's not typically the case in marriages.)

It's in the struggle of feeling unimportant, shut in and alone, helpless and overwhelmed, serving people nonstop who are unappreciative and immature-- I'd put it up against my husband's job any day.  :)

But it's in this time I must change my perspective.  I'm running myself crazy to think I can carry on as I always have.  That my accomplishment looks the same today as it did three months ago.

I must choose to see everything, and I mean everything, as accomplishment.

Like getting showered and putting on pants without an elastic waistband.  No makeup, a quick blow-dry to the hair, but all the necessary body parts got clean, so I'm happy.

Everything is accomplishment.

Like collecting clothes from everybody's hamper and throwing them into a laundry basket in order to do laundry someday.  Sure, they're no cleaner than they were the day before, but hey- at least now they're centrally located.

Everything is accomplishment.

I put five stamps on some thank you cards that have been laying around the house ready to mail for two months now.  Of course I didn't get outside to put them in the mailbox yet, but I'm making progress.  The stamps are on.

Everything is accomplishment.

Yesterday I ventured out, dressed AND showered, to take not one, but TWO, children to Target to buy an outrageously expensive formula and new bottle nipples for my infant's reflux issues.  Came home, only to find I bought the wrong kind for the bottles we have.

But everything, even getting out, is accomplishment.

I played a game of Fancy Nancy Dress Up with my daughter while my baby was napping.  We played on the living room floor next to the two foot pile of hand-me-down clothes strewn across the rug for the past seven days.  And the fact that the clothes had been taken out of the black plastic trash bag that sat in the middle of my kitchen for a few days prior to that was also accomplishment.

Indeed, everything is accomplishment.

Lunch and dinner were BOTH prepared by me at home the other day.  No, it wasn't nutritionally balanced or grain-free or organically produced or paleo-approved or any of the things that are heralded as true accomplishments these days.  But it was food.  It tasted good.  It filled my family's bellies.  I even heard a "I love these noodles, Mom."

Everything is accomplishment.

My baby is currently sleeping next to me.  My daughter is in preschool.  My house is quiet and I could be getting so much "accomplished" in these minutes.  Instead, I'm typing away to you, sweet blog readers, because maybe my mental health is a little more important than a clean kitchen today.

Everything is accomplishment.


  1. Well said, Amy! Thank you for being real and honest. It's exhausting to read blog after blog of women who seem to be able to juggle a thousand things in one day, all while looking perfect and having perfect children, too. :)

    1. I have learned through experience (a great teacher)that God's plan for me during the time my kids were small was being there for my "precious gifts God gave me", my "job" was feeding, nurturing, playing, loving my children.I sometimes felt unappreciated, intimidated by women working outside the home, but at the end of the day I knew I was the best mom I could've been that day...everyone's stomachs were fed, kisses goodnight were planted, prayers were said, and tomorrow I get to do it all again...what a gift! What an amazing gift...laundry will always be, houses will be "lived in", but my children will grow up way too quickly...I will be a mommy again tomorrow and be content knowing my kids are loved.

  2. I know what you mean! Last night I took a shower for the first time in 3 days and I am typing this in pants with an elastic waistband and a hoody :)

  3. Amy, I know that you don't know me. I found your blog posted on my friend's fb page (Ashlie Johnson - do you know her?). I have been reading your posts every day for the past 2 months. Yours is the first blog I've ever been interested in because I always come away feeling so encouraged! I am a mom to 5 kids & we're in the process of "waiting" for a baby (18 months since beginning the adoption process & we've only been home-study approved for about 6 weeks). I'm learning a lot about open adoption through your blog, which I believe is the Lord working in my heart to teach and prepare me for our future adoption. In the meantime, life is busy here and I can't seem to get back on top of things or do more than the bare minimum each day. This is "pre-baby" too! So, I can only imagine how crazy it's going to get (on the other hand, we have lots of helping hands here)! I love how real and honest you are about life, but at the same time your gratefulness and joy shine through your posts. I, too, am a perfectionist ~ and yes, having more kids does change things! I'm still fighting that inner battle of trying to let my peace and joy come from the Lord and not the state of my home. It is a life-long battle, I'm afraid. Maybe it has something to do with our name? (I'm an Amy too). Well, I just wanted to encourage you to keep blogging and encouraging the rest of us. It IS an accomplishment!

    1. Thank you, Amy! That is very encouraging to hear! So excited for you and your adoption journey!!

  4. Isn't if funny how people can each be doing different things and at the same time "be jealous of what the other person has/is/does"? As a working mom I had to live with the stress of being a breadwinner, look "pretty" every day way before 8 a.m. whether I wanted to or not, survive the guilt of having to drag my kids out of bed to put them in daycare when they didn't want to go, and only get to spend a few small hours with them in the evenings (when I wasn't getting groceries, cooking, doing laundry, paying bills, cleaning, etc..etc..etc..) I was (and still am) SO SO jealous of all the moms who don't have to miss any of the early years. And, like you, I will admit that I am bitter about it. In my eyes, SAHM's don't have to get dressed if they don't want to. They can sip coffee all day and play with their kids...not just think about them while at a job you don't really like and wonder what they're doing all day in someone else's care. UGH. It is, and always will be, my biggest regret in life and if I think about it too long I'll fall apart. So...anyway. Just so you know, I think you're lucky, and that you're doing the most important, non-rewarding job on Earth. I'm sure it does get challenging at times...oh, those lovely kiddos! But know that there's plenty of time to get out in the world later on. You're really not missing anything out there..ha! p.s. Wish I could come babysit for you! Your kids are adorable! :)

    1. Thank you! :) Great perspective coming from the other side of the fence and very helpful. Thank you!

  5. You are building quite a community. Great writing. Great insights. Great soul.