Perhaps my expectations are way too high, but right now, I really am torn and overwhelmed at how I am supposed to simultaneously raise two amazing children, put food on the table, keep a relatively clean house, exercise my body, nurture my marriage, work a part-time job, invest in the lives of students and friends, have time for rest and leisure, help my husband in ministry, and stay sane in the process?!? I feel like I'm failing at all the big things, and it doesn't afford me with an opportunity to accomplish any of the smaller tasks looming over me.
I mean, in one sense, I know nobody has found the balancing act, right? I share this because I'm sure I'm not the only one feeling like they're treading underwater.
In my head, I know there will always be portions of life that are out of control at varying times.
But still, my heart yearns for peace. Instead it feels restless and overwhelmed.
Is this just the pangs of adjustment to a baby in the house? Surely life will not always feel this impossible, right?
I know Jesus tells overburdened, weary people like me to come to him and he'll give me rest, but in all honesty, I'm struggling to know what he means by that. My house will not get cleaned. My children will not get fed. My clothes will not get washed.
Whatever this rest is, though, Jesus, I need it.
Even in all the stress, taking time out to snap a few beautiful pictures and sit still to blog about them provides me with some measure of mental clarity. It reminds me of what and who I love, and how I get so wrapped up in my own desire for order and peace.
Look at this guy! How can I look at that smile and not be so grateful?
Oh! By the way, we've finally got our surgery date scheduled for ear tubes the morning of August 5th. (hooray!)
"Mom, don't say the word surgery, because that makes me afraid that Jameson is going to get a shot," she tells me.
But with 7 infections in 8 months, though, this guy needs some relief.
(and so do the rest of us, for that matter!)
Perhaps that will allow our family to rest a little easier.
In the meantime, this gal has NO problem enjoying the little moments!
I'm so thankful for her.
She forces me to stop in all the madness and enjoy reading or playing together.
I know one day I'll look up, and this will all be a distant memory.
These are the days when even that gummy little smile and twinkling eyes
make your heart sing.
So as Marc and I feel the tension of how to "do" life in this season,
pray that we might know His peace, and that we might learn to rest.
I think most parents of young children feel this way - you are not alone and, with God's help and the love of your family, you will get through it to the other side. Sometimes I wonder if we place too much emphasis on "getting things done" because we think we need to keep up with how other moms portray their lives on Facebook! I think we're all a mess in our own way, but our greatest calling is to love our husbands and children...and make time to enjoy the blessing of our families.
ReplyDeleteAt every phase of life there are those moments that we feel we can't get through. God is so good and He will give us grace when we need it and His peace at those moments we are struggling. I am praying for my beautiful family and know that He will see us through the hard times. And it will be worth it all. Love you all.
ReplyDeleteParenting and working full time is definitely hard work. I will tell you that it DOES get easier as they get older. Mine are almost 12 and 15 now, and they have lives of their own and are not so dependent on mom and dad. Honestly, though, I have been SO missing them as little ones...when they DID need us and were so free with the hugs and kisses. Try to cherish them as little ones (I know you do) and remember how lucky we all are to have such wonderful creatures in our lives. The house will never be clean and tidy. You can't please everyone all the time. Just accept that and revel in the small, wonderful moments :) ---Amy Melton
ReplyDeleteword!! there's a whole bunch of us with you ames :-) one really helpful analogy somebody shared with me was saying that as moms we've got lots of balls to juggle--some are crystal, some are rubber and we've gotta figure out what we can bounce to somebody else (or let bounce away for a while!) and which one we absolutely MUST protect. that's been helpful and also remember that there's the 1st year fog (when you have a new baby) and nothing seems quite sane or settled until you move into year 2. i'm both dreading that and trying to recalibrate in preparation for it. much love! and keep taking those pics and then looking at them :-)
ReplyDeletelove,
e