How do people do life, I'm wondering?
Perhaps my expectations are way too high, but right now, I really am torn and overwhelmed at how I am supposed to simultaneously raise two amazing children, put food on the table, keep a relatively clean house, exercise my body, nurture my marriage, work a part-time job, invest in the lives of students and friends, have time for rest and leisure, help my husband in ministry, and stay sane in the process?!? I feel like I'm failing at all the big things, and it doesn't afford me with an opportunity to accomplish any of the smaller tasks looming over me.
I mean, in one sense, I know nobody has found the balancing act, right? I share this because I'm sure I'm not the only one feeling like they're treading underwater.
In my head, I know there will always be portions of life that are out of control at varying times.
But still, my heart yearns for peace. Instead it feels restless and overwhelmed.
Is this just the pangs of adjustment to a baby in the house? Surely life will not always feel this impossible, right?
I know Jesus tells overburdened, weary people like me to come to him and he'll give me rest, but in all honesty, I'm struggling to know what he means by that. My house will not get cleaned. My children will not get fed. My clothes will not get washed.
Whatever this rest is, though, Jesus, I need it.
Even in all the stress, taking time out to snap a few beautiful pictures and sit still to blog about them provides me with some measure of mental clarity. It reminds me of what and who I love, and how I get so wrapped up in my own desire for order and peace.
Look at this guy! How can I look at that smile and not be so grateful?
Oh! By the way, we've finally got our surgery date scheduled for ear tubes the morning of August 5th. (hooray!)
"Mom, don't say the word surgery, because that makes me afraid that Jameson is going to get a shot," she tells me.
But with 7 infections in 8 months, though, this guy needs some relief.
(and so do the rest of us, for that matter!)
Perhaps that will allow our family to rest a little easier.
In the meantime, this gal has NO problem enjoying the little moments!
I'm so thankful for her.
She forces me to stop in all the madness and enjoy reading or playing together.
I know one day I'll look up, and this will all be a distant memory.
These are the days when even that gummy little smile and twinkling eyes
make your heart sing.
So as Marc and I feel the tension of how to "do" life in this season,
pray that we might know His peace, and that we might learn to rest.