At the time, we didn't know what to think.
We didn't know what it meant.
We certainly never envisioned that ten months later, our daughter would be completely bald and face the likelihood of a lifetime without hair.
We had never even heard the word "alopecia."
Of course, we know the rest of the story.
It's like another LIFETIME ago.
It's amazing how much can change in just a few short years.
And it's amazing how much we can change in a few short years.
Not only is Caroline a completely different person from it, but I most certainly am, too.
Before alopecia, I foolishly didn't know how much value I was placing upon outward beauty.
I didn't realize my deep-seeded desires to be like everyone else.
To be accepted, admired, and liked.
with something as simple and bizarre as losing HAIR,
it was all taken away from me.
Suddenly, I had to die to the idol of looking like we had it "together." Because we didn't.
I, the new adoptive mama, couldn't keep HAIR on my child's HEAD.
(How's that for feeling like a failure? There's a good ol' strike to the perfectionism.)
I had to die to the dream that there'd be no pony tails, no ribbons or bows in her future. No one would "ooo" and "aaaw" over my child's hair like they did for all the other cute little girls her age.
That may seem so superficial from the outside, but until you've watched your own daughter transform into what looks like a cancer patient before your very eyes, you may never know what an idol your daughter's femininity is to you until it's taken away.
You might think Caroline and I
looked "better" before alopecia came into our lives,
but nothing could be farther from the truth.
Because of alopecia, we now see things so differently.
We see people differently.
We see beauty in a different, deeper sense.
And we know there are far more important things in life than having hair.
I wouldn't wish for alopecia, but in many ways,
I'm thankful for it.
God was gracious to give it to us.
but looking back, it has given both of us so, so much more.