like mother, like daughter...

hands of love #8...

...was pretty much a flop.

It was bound to happen. When you're baking gluten free and using all kinds of wierd flours that you've never heard of before like amaranth & quinoa & tapioca flour, etc., it's only a matter of time before you get some duds, right? And since I don't claim in any way, shape, or form to be handy in the kitchen WHATSOEVER, I have no problems showing you my not-so-great attempts!! (Maybe you can still give me an "E" for effort??)

Hey, at least they were still edible. (this time...) And Caroline, you continue to be a good sport as I'm learning. :)


Got this great nutritious snack idea from a recipe online-- you roll up a gluten free, nitrate free piece of turkey with fresh spinach, carrots, cucumber, & avocado inside & then dip it in some dijon mustard. Yeah, online they looked GORGEOUS. Beautifully held together with a toothpick for little fingers to pick up a perfect bite-size snack. Mine? Not so much.


These quinoa blackberry muffins wouldn't win any awards for looks, either. (are you supposed to cut up blackberries before putting them in mini muffins? I mean, the blackberries look like they're overtaking the muffins!) Thankfully they weren't too bad in taste, so I guess who cares how they look, right?


These sweet potato muffins with zucchini & carrots hidden in them looked very promising at first. As they came out of the oven, the tops were high and huge, but not a minute after putting them on the counter, they shrunk down to this. And again, not the greatest tasting in the world, but to my kid, a muffin is an exciting treat! (and she has no idea about all the good stuff she's getting at the same time!)


Oh, and I forgot to mention what a wonderful, attentive helper I had to make these 2 batches of muffins together! Caroline, you were a great helper mouse. I love seeing how into cooking you're becoming, even "cooking" for us as you play with legos, etc.


And the taste testing at the end was your favorite part!

But I guess not all of my cooking was a flop.


The grilled salmon salad with homemade dressing was a good ol' standby. (I think you could eat salmon every day if I gave it to you.) Sorry, I think I probably include a picture of this meal each time, but it's just so pretty...


And what 2 yr. old eats 2 HUGE servings of sauteed spinach & garlic and veal?! Around our house, we're trying to learn that meals are less about WHAT you're eating and more about HOW you eat it or WHO you eat it with, so that called for an impromptu "picnic" on the kitchen floor...

a final farewell...

If you've followed our family for some time, you probably know us well for the way we seem to kill our appliances. Someone once called us serial appliance killers, and I gotta admit, that was a little humbling to hear. :) he he It's not something we're too proud of, so we try not to talk about it all that often. It's much more comfortable to stuff the pain deep down, you know... :)

But as each of our appliances leaves us, we like to leave a special tribute in their memory. They have each served us well. It started with the tears over losing our dishwasher, followed shortly with the obituary of Ms. G.E. Hotpoint, and oh yeah, the break up with the stove... wow. How the emotions just flood over you just looking back...makes you question why you get into relationships with them in the first place...)

And today, on this sad, sad day, we have a final farewell to say...


...to our fridge. (1991- ?)

We're so sorry, Mr. Ken More. We know it's been so terribly hard on you to stand by silently as each one of your roommates left for various reasons. I'm sure it wasn't easy to watch us fall in love with the newest roommate in the house over and over again as you yourself fought off the urge to compare. Deep down, you knew that someday it would be your turn, but yet you never complained.


No, you just stood faithful until it was your time, watching lovingly from afar as we made wonderful memories as a family.


And we'll miss you. Oh yes, we will. Just because you'll be going to a new home doesn't mean that we don't love you. It's just what is best for everyone, okay? We'll never forget that because of you, Caroline learned her letters and what they sound like. You were so cool. You were always there when we needed you, giving until the very end.

I don't think anyone wanted it to end under these circumstances. As you know, our family has been through alot in these recent months. It's not only taken a toll on us, but on you, too. I know, I know. Everybody deals with stress in different ways. Some people start eating too much, some people stop eating-- and you? Well, you started deciding on your own when you wanted to make ice & liked to keep us guessing. I know that was your silent, passive aggressive way of spewing out your frustrations with the whole thing. But beyond your icemaker issues... with all the drastic lifestyle changes that we've been forced into, you just weren't handling all of these new foods as well as we needed you to.


Not like her, anyway. Though she is a lot heavier than you, :) she can do alot more than you, and with alot less energy.

I know that's hard for you to hear. And it's not just because you were white, okay? Please don't think it was because of something as silly as color, though I know you were starting to feel a little like the odd man out.


I do think the rest of the roommates feel a strange similarity to her, and even though you can't understand that, I hope you'll be able to accept it and find a way to begin a "new normal" in your next season of life. We wish you all the best.

Sincerely,
the appliance killers

my shtick in the stick...

Last week my Nanny & Papa came for a visit and I was in HEAVEN!


Favorite moment was when I used Papa's stick as my microphone to sing my favorite song, "Come Thou Fount."




Thumbs up for a great visit! We love you, Nanny & Papa!

hands of love #7...

Caroline, this week has been a busier week than usual for our family! With me (Mommy) having lots of extra music rehearsals & Daddy being in full swing with our RUF students, there's not been quite as much cooking going on this week. But thankfully we've had lots of reserves to pull from in our freezer, since when I've been ABLE to cook, I try to make extra to freeze for quick meals later.

My new concept of the week has been nutritional deception. :) Our pediatrician's office loans out copies of this cookbook (written by Jerry Seinfeld's wife actually) to show parents how they can get veggies into their kids without them even noticing it... sneaky sneaky, right?


So I tried it. I baked a butternut squash in the oven (so easy), scooped out the soft middle stuff & pureed it in my blender. (really didn't even need to do that step) Then I made lots of quesadillas (with corn tortillas, beans, fresh tomato, and our gluten free/dairy free/ soy free cheese) & sneaked the butternut squash puree in there! And you didn't mind or notice a BIT! They were delish!


I am also working fresh veggies in as much as possible. If only I could capture the SMELL of this stuff I made (Thai ginger chicken) more than the looks of it... I'm finding it easier and easier to eat yummy food that's gluten, dairy, & soy free, but you just have to figure out how to use your time WAY more efficiently. (for examples: 1) cut up your peppers or onions or fresh veggies at the beginning of the week so then you just pull them out to sneak in recipes later in the week, or 2) cook your meats ahead of time & then freeze them to add to recipes later... kinda common sense stuff that our grandparents all knew to do in order to survive before the world of fast & convenient foods!)


Even Daddy's getting into the kitchen! Here's what he was able to pull out of the freezer & fridge & make us a quick meal! (steamed veggies, and pan seared steak & duck! We had never tried duck before and it was sooooo tender and delicious, but yes, expensive.) Way to go, Daddy!

And your favorite treat for this week was...


Mommy made a low sugar, gluten/dairy/soy free apple crisp for dessert!

Caroline, as your tummy stays full and continues to heal with all of these nutritious, whole foods, I hope you know that in every bite, there is so much love for you. God is teaching our family SOOOO much, not just about Himself, but even about the world in which He has placed us and about how He has designed our bodies to get the nourishment we need from the very foods that we eat. I pray that as you grow & start to understand more and more about these foods, you will understand Mommy & Daddy's gentle "no's" come from wanting the very best for you, and not from a spirit of wanting to withhold from you. (And who knows?? Maybe one day we'll be able to sit down together and enjoy some good ol' fashioned ice cream again!!)

I am SOOOOOOOOOO proud of you, sweet girl. You are an amazing girl and an even more amazing eater! You don't let any food or restrictions or a bald head stop you from ANYTHING. You know you are stunningly beautiful, protected, provided for, and LOVED. You are precious to us in every way, and we want you to continue to be the strong, active, & thriving girl that you are now. We love you!

slow climb...

Well, all of our Duke results are in. And except for finding this chronic parasite, we really have no more leads than when we first started. (maybe the parasite has been around for longer than we initially thought? maybe it's part of the bigger picture afterall? From what I've learned, they can live for years in your gut, wreaking havoc on your immune system, causing all kinds of problems with gastro stuff, nutritional deficiencies, & even the skin, so who knows??? Oh, wouldn't it be fabulous if this was IT?? Not holding my breath...) Even the celiac bloodwork this time showed up within the normal range. (which, after being gluten free for 6 months, I would think it should anyways...)

But I suppose that's a good thing that nothing else came back with huge red flags, right?

So the plan is to continue treating the parasite with the medication (Flagyl) for another week and since there's a high recurrence rate (yep, apparently these babies are hard to kill because who knows how many eggs they've got), we'll do some more stool tests and see if they all test negative at that point. Diet is still very important as these guys loooove to eat sugar and things that turn into sugar in your system: fruits & carbs. So along with giving her the medicine as well as vitamin/mineral supplements, I'm having to be even MORE diligent with Caroline's diet for the time being. I know that ultimately, it will all be worth it and she'll be a thriving, healthy girl one day when this ship gets turned around.

The way I'm coping with all of this right now is kinda similar to looking at a stock report. When you zoom in to look at an individual stock's performance over a particular day or week, it can be pretty depressing. You see the sharp ups and downs, and it looks completely unstable! (And oh, you guys know that I have certainly ridden the waves of emotion.) However, when you adjust the time frame on the stock's graph to see how it has done over the past SEVERAL months, the ups and downs are a little less noticeable because there is a slooooow, but steady, climb upwards. As I step back to look at the highs and lows of this health journey, that is exactly how the past six months have been for us. A slow climb up.

And speaking of adjusting the time frame... I guess I've always been used to illnesses and health problems that are quick fixes: you get strep, you're better in a week. You've got this problem? Take this pill and it'll be "fixed." I get the feeling from others by their looks and reactions to us that they expect the same, too-- as if I'm missing some obvious piece of the puzzle that would just snap! FIX IT. We certainly are a culture that paces around in front of the microwave, aren't we?? :) But what a humbling process this has been to face a chronic, ongoing problem that is going to take not days, not weeks, not months, but most likely YEARS to completely reverse. So now my readjusted time frame is that my daughter might be able to enter kindergarten with a full head of hair and a strong immune system again. Wouldn't that be great?? Of course, we'll see what the Lord has for us... but I guess I am not expecting the quick fix anymore. She's slowly (very slowly) getting better, as we see more and more good bowel movements, and more and more little white hairs growing on her scalp and on her body. That's something. Her little body WANTS to heal! And I know it's not going to happen overnight.

When the Lord let the Israelites wander around the wildnerness for 40 years!, He was not any less faithful to them during that time. He was no less good to them. I don't give my daughter everything she wants at the precise minute she asks. There are more important things for her to learn and understand in the process of waiting and wandering. She needs to trust me. I love her too much to simply fulfill her every desire. It's for her best.

And this journey has been for mine.

my budding young actress...

Another potential future career path, you think?? :)


Sad face. (take 1)


Sad, sad, sad. (take 2)


Surprised face! (gasp!)


Roar!!!


Sleepy face.


Scary face!


Shy girl.


(and... action!) Jump!!!

hands of love #6...

You know it's time for fall when the grocery stores start stocking up on all the fall squash!


So roasted veggies including butternut squash, zucchini, and red & yellow peppers were a delicious side dish this week. (except for the fact that I roasted them for a bit too long...)

And let's see a show of hands-- ever heard of spaghetti squash before? I never had.


But it's AWESOME! You cut it in half, bake it in the oven, and then as you spoon it out, it turns into little spaghetti-like noodles! I put a little gluten-free, dairy-free, soy-free mozzarella cheese & oregano & basil on top and it was DELICIOUS! (you could also use spaghetti sauce on top as well & it'd be a healthy way to sneak in another veggie!) I actually liked this way more than Caroline did, but that won't keep me from serving it. (what do they say? it can take between 15-20 times before a kid will like it? well, we'll definitely try a few more times because she's crazy if she doesn't like this.) :)


Our homemade, gluten/dairy/soy-free version of hamburger helper that Daddy made! (with turkey) For added nutrition, Daddy snuck in some diced zucchini and some flax. (fyi-- the easiest way to add some desperately needed omega 3's into your diet is to get a bag of flax seeds, grind up a handful at a time into a powder, --we use an old coffee grinder-- and then scoop a little powder into things like cereal or any meal. It's important to know that you don't get any benefit from whole flax seeds-- they have to be ground up...)


This wins the prize of worst tasting food attempt this week. It was a recipe I found for a casserole with millet (a gluten-free whole grain similar to rice), beans, cauliflower, etc. It turned out too dry and bland-- kinda like what you'd probably normally think of as "health" food. bleh.... but ironically Caroline DID like this!

And the prize for BEST tasting food of the week (by all 3 of us):

this spinach, peach, & walnut salad!! It used melted goat cheese (which I had never had before, so I don't think the melting job was supposed to look like a spider web! ha! But it tastes SOOOOO good-- WAY better than regular cheese.) And this salad was the perfect blend between salty, sweet, and just overall delicious!!

A few things about this entire journey that shock me almost daily:

1) how differently I feel after eating (and when I eat out at a restaurant NOW, I'm sorta surprised at how bad I sometimes feel afterwards & didn't ever pay attention to it because I thought it was just normal or "full" feeling for my stomach to ache!)

2) how my cravings have changed. I'm tempted WAYYYYY less to eat fast food than before.

3) i view food SO differently now. instead of thinking of it only for the enjoyment of my taste buds, i see it more as the source of health and how it functions in my body. (how is this food working FOR me?)

4) being so restricted on what we can eat as a family has shown me what a stronghold food was (and still is) over me and how I gripped on so tightly to my "right" that I should be able to eat whatever food I wanted to. So many food issues there. I think whether we eat too much or too little, weigh too much or too little, think about food too much or too little, we all have food issues of some type. This has definitely brought out my own, but without it, I wouldn't have changed. So even though it's been a hard transition, I am grateful.

Don't get me wrong-- I still LOOOOOOOVE a good pizza & Dr. Pepper anyday!!.... but it's just so crazy to me how much the Lord is working in MY heart regarding food and cooking and nutrition, above and beyond what I'm doing for Caroline's benefit. Thankful for the way He's challenging and growing me each day.

at 30 (?) months...

Okay, at this point, we've totally forgotten how many months old I am, (and too busy to figure it out!) so we'll just round it off to 30 months. Good enough? (someone help us figure out how off we are!-- born in Feb. '08)

But it's been awhile since you all got to know what I'M really up to these days, so here goes:

• I was SOOO excited to attend my first Sunday School class today! Since our church is new & small, but growing, there isn't a class just yet for 2-3 yr. olds. But the teacher of the 4-5 yr. olds invited me to join them until a 2-3 yr. old class starts up. I was telling EVERYONE that I was going to a class at church! And Mommy & I practiced sitting still to listen to a story last night just to get ready for my big day! Well, apparently I sat still for about 5 minutes, and then politely told my teacher, "I've got to go to my class!" and tried to run off!! :) ha ha
• Music is MY thing. Dancing to it, singing it, listening to it, pretending to play along with it, or making it myself-- if you really want my attention, just start singing! It is tradition in our house that we MUST sing "10 Little Indians" during toothbrushing, and we've come up with our own family's little diddies for bathtime & picking up time-- they wouldn't make the top 40's charts... trust us!)
  

• I like to get my picture taken now, and I'm starting to like to make silly faces for the camera. (another post on this coming soon...)
• Not only do I know all of my letters, AND the sounds they make, but now I am figuring out on my own what the first letters of words are!! (ex. "Mommy does 'Papa' start with a puh, puh, P?") I'm getting pretty good at my first letters!
• I love to talk on the phone now. And I can hold a decent little conversation, too. (still don't understand that the person on the phone can't also SEE me)
  

• Oh, I looooove to draw now. I can draw a number 1, a "O," and here is my first ever smiley face!! Pretty good, huh?
  
• I can count to around 23.
• I WILL NOT stay out of Mommy's spice cabinet. She had to put a lock on it, and any time that lock is unhooked, you can be sure I'm there "cooking" with the spices, taking the lids off, etc.
  
• With my diet restrictions, thankfully I'm still a compliant participant! A few times Mommy has heard me say to myself, "Mommy's cereal will make my tummy hurt." One time in the grocery store, I walked up to the cheese section and said, "I need a gluten free cheese!" (ha ha! Mommy didn't know I knew that word, but she guesses I hear it enough around this house!)
• Speaking of grocery stores, no more riding in a cart for me. I don't even like those fun kiddie racecars as much as getting the little bitty kid-size cart and pushing it all around the store for Mommy! So Mommy walks down the aisles and I love pushing my cart right behind her. (unfortunately a few more "extras" seem to make it into the cart nowadays...) :)
• If you aren't catching the drift, I am 2 1/2 yrs. old going on about 8. :) AND we spend alot of time at grocery stores... :(
  

• I can water the garden plants all by myself. Other "chores" I do are dumping out trash cans, wiping off the table, and helping with the laundry.
• I dress myself now!! (Shirts are still a little hard to pull off over my head.)
  
• And along with dressing myself, I've decided to begin potty training somewhat. (Mommy isn't quite in a hurry on this one-- she's certainly got enough on her plate right now, you know.) But I have reached "the" stage where it's hard to keep a diaper on me, and I ask Mommy, "Can I go sit on my potty?" And you know what?? A few lucky times, I've peed in my potty!!! (to which I get SOOOOOOOOOOOO excited and love joining in with Mommy to do the pee pee dance) The pressure is off, though, so it's just something fun that I'm trying to figure out right now!
• I can't wait for the fall! I keep talking about how the trees are going to fall down, but Mommy has to remind me it's the leaves that will fall. :) ha ha
  

• I am a girl who is LOVING life and all the joy it has to offer! I let Mommy do all the worrying, but not me! I am so active and social-- you WILL notice me, but not for my lack of hair. I'm the kid that's saying, "hi!" to every shopper in the store. I'm the kid that is quick to say "thank you." I'm the kid that runs up to Mommy or Daddy with a huge bear hug and says, "I love you, Mommy."
  

And Mommy is SO happy that out of all the baby girls in the entire world, she got ME. :)

spiderwoman...

By day, I'm Caroline, the 2 yr. old.


But by night, (I mean, um, day) I am SPIDERWOMAN!


(thank you, Leah, for clapping and cheering me on!)


I must save this town from the forces of evil! :)