this day...

"...in Your book were written, every one of them, 

the days that were formed for me, 

when as yet there was none of them..."   

-Psalm 139:16

If every day has already been formed, before there ever was a day,
then this day, too, is all to His glory.

It is this day that the baby will be placed in the other family's arms.
And it is this day that they will remember and celebrate for years to come.

Today is a day like they've never imagined.
When the fullness of God's grace will swallow them up.
The cries of a newborn will sing the glory of His faithfulness.
An entire community will watch and delight in His goodness and spring forth His praise.
A young birthmother will find herself torn between grief and joy,
feeling the wrenching pangs of separation and loss,
yet knowing a love so sacrificial
that most of us cannot fathom.
Her baby boy will rest securely tonight in his new forever family.
And never know the depths of love that surrounds him.

It is a day for which this couple has only dreamed.
A day that will change them forever and ever.
Today they become parents
and all that that entails.
This day is sure to bring a cacophony of sound:
the cries of a newborn, telephones ringing,
the music of laughter, the cheering of loved ones.
Oh, the day of celebration!

For me, this day will be quiet.
As I reflect upon the story He has written for me.
As I wrestle with what could have been.
And trust that this day has been formed for me, too.
I had hoped this would be a day of my celebration,
and it was not written as such.
Like a due date for one who has miscarried,
There will be no sounds of a crying newborn today.

But there will be other graces given.
He has promised manna each day,
and as He cares for the sparrows,
I know He will display His loving tenderness for me, too.

It is clear what this day holds for the other family,
but I must look a bit more closely to see
that which He has provided for me this day.
It is surely there.

We never know what this day may hold.
Things too wonderful
or too dreadful
for our hearts to grasp.

Yet each one has been formed.
Before there ever was.

And it's His story
I am clinging to today.